Breaking at the Cracks
by iheartCallieTorres
Summary: Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California. This is my version of what brings Arizona back. AU, post 7x07, but does not follow the story line of Grey's beyond that.
1. Who Knew?

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **One - "Who Knew?"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

* * *

**Who Knew? **

_You took my hand_

_You showed me how_

_You promised me _

_You'd be around_

_I took your words _

_And I believed_

_In everything_

_You said to me_

::~::Pink::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

"I'm sorry, Torres. I thought you were leaving. I've already filled your position. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to help."

The Chief's words rang in my ears as I exited the hospital and walked slowly across the street, heedless of the steady rain that soaked through my clothes. I was already in the elevator by the time I remembered that I no longer lived in this building. We'd sublet the apartment through the end of the lease. I no longer have a place to call home. I am, essentially, homeless. And now I'm jobless, too.

The elevator doors opened on the fifth floor and I just stood there for a moment, debating. I felt numb, both physically and emotionally. Like I was a robot that couldn't _feel _anything.

The doors began to close, but I stopped them, deciding to see if Mark was home, hoping he'd not ventured out on his day off.

I knocked and waited, but there was no answer. I knocked again. Nothing. I tried one more time, knowing it was useless but needing him to be there. Nothing.

"Fuck." I pressed my forehead against the solid wood door, contemplating my options. I turned so that my back was flush against the door and fished my cell phone out of my coat pocket. I cringed when I noticed that it was sopping wet and turned off. I pressed the power button, hoping for a miracle. Nothing.

"God mother fucking damnit!" I cried out in a moment of complete frustration and threw the useless hunk of plastic against the opposite wall. I hit with a loud thud and pieces ricocheted in three directions-the body of the phone coming to a halt just inches away from my feet, the battery skidding down the hallway towards the elevator and the back cover tumbling to a stop in front of apartment 502. I really hoped whoever now called apartment 502 their home wasn't in the apartment.

I threw my head back against the door, feeling a small pleasure at the physical pain I incurred when I hit my head against the wood. I slowly slid down the smooth surface until I sat on the cold, hard floor with my knees raised to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face in them. I cried.

I didn't notice anyone approach me until I felt strong arms wrap abound me, pulling me close as they rocked me back and forth. I knew it was Mark from the smell of his cologne. I clutched at him as sobs wracked my entire body.

He didn't say anything for a while. Just held me as I cried. He knew that nothing he said would soothe me right now.

A short while later, once the sobs had slowed and stopped, he stood, forcing me up with him. "Come on," he said. "You're going to catch pneumonia if you don't change out of those wet clothes."

I allowed myself to be led through his apartment and into his bathroom. Mark left me standing in the doorway as he turned on the water, adjusting the temperature before pulling a clean towel out of the linen closet. He placed the towel on the sink and gave me a soft kiss on the forehead. "Get in the shower," he said. "I'll leave you some dry clothes on the bed."

I could only nod as he left the bathroom, closing the door gently behind him. I pulled off my wet clothes, finally realizing how cold I was. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and cringed. There were dark circles around my eyes, which were red, swollen and puffy from all the crying I've been doing. My nose was bright red, as if I were Rudolph's sister. My hair hung in wet, matted tendrils, making me look like a wet dog. I probably smelled like one, too.

I turned away from the depressing sight of myself and stepped under the nearly scalding spray of the water. I let the water cascade over my tired, worn body as I stood there facing the tiled wall, unmoving.

I'm not sure how long I stood there, but the water suddenly started to turn cool. I quickly turned off the taps, uncaring that I hadn't managed to shampoo my hair. Who was I trying to impress anyway, right?

"I made you some tea," Mark said when I entered his living room. I sat on the couch and took the mug he offered. I stared into the cup, still unable to speak.

Mark sat next to me. "I, ah, heard what happened with the Chief," he said. I finally looked up at him. "Derek told me."

I nodded and swallowed. "What am I going to do? I have no job, I'm living in a hotel… again… and… and she left. She left me, Mark. She fucking left me."

"She didn't leave _you_," Mark tried to tell me. "She left to help the kids in Africa."

I shook my head. "You weren't there, Mark. You didn't hear… you didn't hear what she said." I laughed bitterly. "I should have known she would eventually get tired of me and abandon me. That's what everyone does."

"Callie Torres, you don't mean that," he insisted. "You know she loves you and wouldn't have left for any other reason."

I continued to stare at the mug in my hands. "I want to believe you," I whispered. "I want to believe that she'd stay. But how can I?" I put the mug on the table and stood. "I have to go," I said.

"Callie," Mark said, trying to stop me.

"No, really," I said, stepping out of his reach. "I just need to be alone for a while. I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with no job and… and no place to live and… I just need to be alone. Thanks for the clothes. I'll wash them and return them as soon as I can."

I left.

..::*~*~*::..

I sneezed. Coughed. Sneezed again. I blew my nose and waded up the tissue, chucking it at the waste basket. It missed by a foot. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed to retrieve it and toss it into the trashcan. The cold that I'd caught, no doubt from my foray into the rain without protection, perfectly fit my mood.

I'd contacted all the hospitals in the area. No one was hiring an orthopedic attending. No one needed my services.

I was about to crawl back into bed when a knock sounded at the door of my hotel room. I figured it was Mark coming to try and pull me out of my funk. An impossible task, but I gave him credit for trying.

I opened the door and was shocked at who stood on the other side. "Addie?"

The redheaded beauty smirked and shoved past me into the room. "Mark called me," she said as she looked around the untidy hotel room. I haven't really felt like cleaning much in the past two weeks. Addison stood facing me, hands on her hips. "Which you should have done yourself, missy. I would have been here sooner had I known."

I sighed and leaned back against the door as I closed it. "Addison-"

She held up her hand, effectively stopping my protest. "Hear me out," she said. "You're coming back to LA with me. Tonight."

I gave her a quizzical look. "Excuse me? I'm doing what now?"

"You're coming back to LA with me," she repeated. "No arguments. You look like shit, Callie."

"Thank you so much," I said dryly, suddenly self conscious of my ratty PJ bottoms and old college t-shirt.

Addison's gaze softened and she moved to stand in front of me. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me closely. "I'm worried about you, Cal," she said, her voice full of concern. "You're pale, you've lost too much weight… It's obvious you're not eating or sleeping enough. And you sound like death. Kinda smell like it too." I glared at her. "You're coming back to LA with me for a few weeks. You're going to stay with Sam and I, get some sun, eat amazing food and enjoy my delightful company. Okay?"

"It doesn't sound like you're giving me much choice."

"I knew you'd be on board!" she said with a smile. "Now, start packing and let's get you checked out. Our flight leaves in two hours."

I started packing, secretly glad she'd come to "rescue" me. "Do I really smell like death?" I asked, self-conscious.

"No, I was just saying that to get you to agree," Addison said, piling clothes into my large suitcase. She smiled reassuringly.

Two hours later, we were sitting next to each other in the first-class cabin on a place LA-bound. I'd never admit it aloud, but I knew that getting out of Seattle was probably the best thing for me at the moment.

"You know, LA hospitals are always looking for talented surgeons…" Addison said in a sing-song voice once we'd taken off.

I rolled my eyes. "And you just so happen to be close friends with the Chief of Staff at one such hospital, right?" I said sarcastically.

Addison's eyes darkened and her expression became somber. "Charlotte," she affirmed with a nod. "But she's isn't exactly in the best frame of mind right now…" She didn't seem to want to discuss it any further, so I let the subject drop. Silence fell over us and I cast my gaze out the window, taking in the cloud tops.

"So, what happened?" Addison finally asked after several minutes. "I got the Mark version, but I want to know your version."

I turned my head to look at her and inhaled deeply, feeling tears in my eyes. I tried to swallow the knot that formed in my throat. "She left me, Addie," I said, my voice so thick with emotion that I could barely get those words out. I couldn't say anything more before I chocked on a sob. I balled up my fist and pressed it to my lips in a vain attempt to staunch my sobs.

"Oh, Callie," Addison said, unbuckling her seatbelt and moving towards me. "Come here." She pushed up the armrest separating us and pulled me into a hug. I was suddenly glad that the first-class cabin was practically empty as I cried into her shoulder.

Addison didn't ask me to elaborate on what had happened for the rest of the flight. I think she realized how much I didn't want to talk about it right then. She knew that in good time, I'd let her in.

Once we landed in LA, Addison drove us to her beachfront house. "Are you sure I can stay with you?" I asked as she pulled into the driveway. "I don't want to impose on you and Sam. I can get a hotel room if-"

"Callie, shut up," Addison said. "I invited you. You're staying here." She shoved open her door and got out of the car. I met her at the trunk of the vehicle.

"Did you at least talk to Sam first?" I asked, nervous. I grabbed my large duffel bag from the trunk, along with my backpack that had been my carryon.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "It's my house," she said. "If he doesn't like it, he can go to his own house. Which happens to be right next door." She hefted the large suitcase out of the trunk, then grinned at me. "But he's fine with it. He knows how important my friends are to me."

She closed the trunk and started to walk past me into the house, but I stopped her. "Thank you, Addie," I said softly. "For everything."

Addison smiled sadly and pulled me into a hug. "Anything for a friend," she said, pulling back. "Really. Anything you need, just let me know, okay?"

I nodded. "I will."

_If someone said three years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and punch them out_

'_cause they're all wrong_

_That last kiss, I'll cherish_

_Until we meet again_

_And time makes It harder_

_I wish I could remember _

_But I keep your memory_

_You visit me in my sleep_

_My darling_

_Who knew?_

::~::Pink::~::


	2. Things People Say

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Two - "Things People Say"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

Umm, don't get used to the quick updates. Once the week starts, I'll have next to no time to update. : )

* * *

**Things People Say**

_What about the plans that you left behind?_

_The little white house by the railway line?_

_The one we picked out._

_Even put the down payment on._

_What about the promise that you made?_

_To stay with me 'til your dying day?_

_Said you'd never go away._

_Well, they're just things that people say._

::~::Lady Antebellum::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

"Please come out with us tonight?" Addison begged me for the fourth time in less than an hour. She and a few of her coworkers were getting together at a local bar to hang out. I'd been in LA less than twenty-four hours, but I was pretty tired.

"I don't know, Addie," I said, laying back against the couch. "I'm not really in the mood to go out."

"It's nothing fancy," she said, perching herself on the coffee table in front of the couch I was laying on. "You don't even have to change or fix your hair or makeup. Just a few of the people I work with. They want to meet you."

I raised my eyebrows. "They want to meet _me_? Why?"

Addison chuckled. "Well, Violet wants to delve into your _feelings_, Pete just wants to check out my hot friend, Sam, well, you've met him… and that's all that will be there tonight. Cooper and Charlotte aren't coming."

There seemed to be something hidden in her voice when she mentioned Cooper and Charlotte, but I chose not to say anything. I sighed. "Just promise me you're not going to try and hook me up with someone?"

She smiled widely. "I promise," she said, holding up her hand, then she stood and held out her hand to me.

I stared at it for a few seconds, then sighed again. I took it and let her help me stand. "You're lucky I like you," I mumbled as I grabbed my coat.

I really didn't feel like going out. I'd rather stay in and wallow in self pity, but after everything Addison's done for me, I didn't want to let her down. She promised me that we'd only stay for an hour, so I humored her.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually kind of nice to be out with people again. It felt normal. Like I wasn't broken. Then I'd think about Arizona and everything came flooding back to me. Violet ordered Arizona's favorite drink. Pete mentioned that Cooper was a pediatrician. Small things like that that would trigger my memory and make me sulk.

About twenty minutes into the conversation, Addison pulled Sam onto the tiny dance floor when her "favorite song" started playing. Pete got up to get another round of drinks, leaving me alone with Violet.

"Addison's said a lot of good things about you, you know," Violet said, sipping her drink.

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm sure there was some bad mixed in there as well," I said.

"Hmm, why do you say that?"

I shrugged. "I seem to attract drama. And bad relationships."

Violet nodded. "That doesn't mean that you're bad, you know."

I just shook my head.

"Bad relationships?" Violet repeated after several seconds of silence.

I nodded, then paused. "Well, not all of them. Just, bad break ups."

Violet narrowed her eyes at me. Addison had told me she was a therapist and I couldn't help but feel like she was about to council me. "Multiple bad break-ups, I'm guessing?" Yep. There it was.

I nodded. "I don't really want to talk about it," I said, my voice a bit more surly than I'd meant. I knew she was just trying to help.

"Understandable," she said with a nod. "Just know that I'm willing to listen if you need a neutral ear. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is completely uninvolved with a certain situation."

I nodded. "Thanks," I said. "But I think I'll be alright." I hoped she believe me. The last thing I needed was a nosy therapist delving into my personal life.

..::*~*~*::..

Three days later found me in Violet's office, staring blankly at her as she studied me right back. I'd walked into her office unannounced ten minutes ago and sat down with my arms crossed. Violet hadn't said anything. Just sat across from me and waited.

I'm not sure how I ended up here. I was doing fine. Well, maybe not fine, but I was handling it. Everything. The break up, my joblessness, my homelessness… I was _fine_. Until got that e-mail. Those three fucking sentences that were now scrolling through my head on a non-stop repeat.

_Callie  
I'm sorry I had to hurt you. It was the only way I could make you stay. Please, don't keep yourself from being happy._

_-Arizona  
_

"She called me Callie."

Violet's eyebrows raised, but she didn't say anything.

"She only called me Callie when she was mad at me. Or when she was talking to someone else about me. But she called me Callie."

"What did she normally call you?" Violet asked. I knew that she had no idea who I was talking about.

"Calliope," I whispered. "She was the only person other than my father that I allowed to call me that. It was… special."

Violet leaned forward in her chair. "When did she call you Callie?"

I finally looked at Violet. "In the e-mail she sent me. From Africa."

"Okay," Violet said slowly. "Can you start from the beginning? Who's in Africa?"

I took a deep breath, contemplating on whether I really wanted to get into all this with a woman I barely knew.

She seemed to sense my hesitation. "Callie, I understand if you don't want to discuss this with me, but you should talk to someone. It's not good to keep these emotions bottled up inside."

I nodded, making a decision. "Arizona's in Africa. My girlfriend." I shook my head. "I mean, my _ex_-girlfriend." Oh, _that _hurt to say. "She left me."

"To go to Africa?"

I nodded. "She won this amazing grant to help children in Africa. She's a pediatric surgeon. And… and I was going to go with her, only…" I trailed off as tears started to fall down my cheeks. Violet handed me a box of tissues and I gratefully took them. "Thanks," I said. I wiped my tears and blew my nose. "I was going to go with her. I even quit my job and we gave up our apartment. But when we got to the airport, she said she didn't want me to go with her."

"Just like that?" Violet asked.

I nodded. "I mean, I had been kind of bitchy all day because, honestly, I didn't really want to give up my job and friends and all that, but I didn't want to be without her either. I loved her. I _still_ love her. But she left without me because I was 'ruining Africa for her.'"

"Don't you think it's probably a good thing that you didn't go if you really didn't want to?"

I glared at her. "No, because now I'm here and she's in Africa and… and she's not my girlfriend anymore. She left me."

"You keep saying that. Why?"

"What do I keep saying?" I asked.

"That she left you."

I shrugged. "She did leave me. Everyone leaves me."

"Huh," Violet said, narrowing her eyes at me slightly. She was about to say more when there was a knock on her door. Violet looked at the clock and turned to me as she stood. "I'm sorry, Callie. Mrs. Banks has an appointment now."

I wiped my tears and stood. "It's okay. My fault for barging in unannounced."

"If you want, we can talk more later."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

She nodded and led me to the door. "Addison's worried about you, you know. And she's a good person."

I nodded and smiled. "I know. I'm lucky to have her."

"We all are," Violet agreed.

_It's three a.m. and I can't sleep at all._

_I wonder where you are tonight _

_And do I ever cross your mind?_

::~::Lady Antebellum::~::


	3. Ten Days

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Three - "Ten Days"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

Still no Arizona in this one. Sorry!

* * *

**Ten Days**

_So we've put an end to it this time_

_I'm not longer yours and you're no longer mine_

_You said this hill looks far too steep_

_If I'm not even sure it's me you want to keep_

_And it's been ten days without you in my reach_

_And the only time I've touched you is in my sleep_

::~::Missy Higgins::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

"Violet told me that you went to see her today," Addison said as she joined me out on the back deck.

I glared up at her. "Isn't there a patient-therapist confidentiality that she's supposed to keep to?"

Addison chuckled. "She didn't tell me what you talked about," she said, handing me a glass of wine. "Just that you talked. That's good. You need to talk about it to someone. Even if it's not me."

I sighed. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay, Callie," she said. "I know you'll talk if you need to and I'll be here to listen. And Violet is an excellent listener as well. It's her job."

We allowed a silence to fall over us, something I've noticed happens a lot around me now. It's like people didn't know how to talk to me anymore. I don't blame them. I haven't exactly been a joy to be around lately.

I listened to the waves crash against the surf, suddenly wishing it was warm enough to take a swim in the ocean water. But it was November. The water was frigid.

Addison laid her head on my shoulder and we huddled close for warmth, a blanket spread across us to shield us from the wind coming off the water.

"Should I leave you two alone?" a sudden voice from behind startled us both.

I turned to see a grinning Sam in the doorway. Addison smiled and reached out a hand for him. He stepped forward and sat next to Addison, kissing her softly. I turned away, unable to look at happy coupledom. I was glad that Addison had finally found someone that made her happy. She deserved to be happy. But seeing that happiness only reminded me of what I'd lost.

"I'm gonna leave you two and try and get some sleep," I said. I stood and quickly entered the house before they could protest. I slid the door closed and made my way to the guest suite I was staying in. I closed the door and leaned back against it, letting out a sigh of relief.

I peeled off my clothes as I made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. As I stood beneath the hot spray, I couldn't help my mind from drifting to Arizona. I wondered what she was doing right now. I calculated the time difference. It would be morning there, about six thirty a.m. Is she awake yet? Is she taking a morning shower? Is she thinking of me?

I flipped the cap on the shampoo bottle and poured a generous amount into my hand. I choked on a sob as I lathered my hair. After my "chat" with Violet, I'd stopped at the store to pick up some toiletries-shampoo, conditioner, body soap-so I wouldn't have to keep using Addison's. It wasn't until I was lathering my hair with the sweet-smelling shampoo that I realized that I'd bought Arizona's preferred brand. The coconut scent reminded me of her and of how I would bury my face in her hair as we laid in bed together. I remembered the times that I would wash her hair for her, taking my time to tease. That teasing almost always led to making love under the spray of the hot water.

A sob escaped my lips as I hurriedly and roughly rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, watching the soap and water swirl down the drain. I wished it was as easy to wash the memory of Arizona out of my head.

I stopped and shook my head. I didn't mean that. I knew that even if I no longer had her and never would call her mine again, I'm still grateful for the time I did have with her. She'd honestly made me a better person.

But right now, those memories were killing me.

I leaned back against the icy cold tiles of the shower wall and sunk down to sit on the cold floor, knees bent and pulled to my chest. The water splashed around me as I rubbed my face with my hands, feeling lost and alone.

Maybe I did need to talk with Violet again.

..::*~*~*::..

This time, I'd actually made an appointment with Violet.

But that didn't make it easier to get started.

Violet waited patiently for me to start, just as she had last time.

I drummed my fingers on my denim-covered thigh. I chewed my bottom lip.

Violet just sat and stared, a neutral expression on her face.

Finally, the silence was too much and I pulled the piece of paper out of my jacket pocket and tossed it on the small table separating us. Violet glanced at it, then back at me, question in her eyes.

"Read it," I said with a nod.

She picked the paper up and unfolded it. On it was the e-mail Arizona had sent me.

"Is this what you were talking about? That she called you Callie and not Calliope?"

I nodded. "I got that a few days after she left."

"How long ago did she leave?"

"It's been ten days, sixteen hours and," I glanced at my watch, "twelve minutes since she walked away from me."

She nodded. "Is that what made you come see me last time?"

I nodded.

"And what made you come see me this time?"

My cheeks burned and I cleared my throat. "I kind of… broke down last night when I realized that I'd bought the same shampoo she always used without thinking about it. The scent… it triggered things. Memories."

"Good memories?"

I couldn't stop the smile. "Yes, good memories. But those only make me remember that we're no longer together. And those good memories only make me miss her more."

Violet nodded. "That's normal," she said. "Last time you said something that I'd like to explore a bit. You said that people always leave you. What did you mean by that?"

I slouched on the sofa and chewed on my bottom lip. I shrugged. "Exactly what it sounds like. Everyone I've ever cared about has left me."

"How so?"

I took a deep breath. "My ex-husband cheated on me, my first girlfriend left without saying goodbye, my family temporarily shunned me when I told them I was dating a woman, Arizona left me the first time because I wanted kids and she didn't, but we worked that out, and now Arizona's left me a second time stranded in an airport, jobless and homeless." I shrugged again. "People leave me."

"Hmm. How does that make you feel?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You guys really ask that question?"

Violet looked expectantly at me. "It's a valid question."

I sighed. "It makes me feel… unlovable. Like… I'm worthless. Destined to be alone."

"Unlovable," Violet repeated. "Do you think Arizona doesn't love you anymore?"

I shrugged. "I honestly don't know." I shook my head. "No, that's not true. I'm sure she does. I know she loves me. It's just… not enough. It's never enough."

"She loves you so much that she wouldn't let you sacrifice your own career to follow her to Africa."

I huffed. "I was willing to sacrifice my career to be with her," I said. "But she wasn't willing to do the same. And I get it. It's a Carter Madison Grant. It's a huge fucking deal. I get it and I was willing to go with her. I would have gone with her."

"So, you resent that she didn't turn the grant down to be with you?" Violet questioned.

"What? No! That's not what I meant at all. She would have just resented me if she'd done that."

Violet nodded. "She would have resented you. Do you think you would have resented her had you gone to Africa with her?"

"No," I said quickly, then thought. "Well, maybe a little, but it wouldn't matter because I'd be with the person I loved more than anything."

"Really?" she asked, sounding unconvinced. "Do you think maybe she was concerned that you'd resent her and end up hating her?"

"I could never hate her," I said softly.

"Does she knows that."

I swallowed and met Violet's gaze. "You think she was right to break up with me." It wasn't a question. I could already tell.

"What I think doesn't really matter," she said. "I want to know what you think."

"You want to know if I think she should have broken up with me?"

Violet nodded.

"No," I said. "I don't."

_And time has changed nothing at all_

_You're still the only one that feels like home_

_I've tried cutting the ropes_

_Tried letting go_

_But you're still the only one that feels like home_

::~::Missy Higgins::~::


	4. What Hurts the Most

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Four - "What Hurts the Most"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

* * *

**What Hurts the Most**

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go _

_But I'm doing it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed _

_Living with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade_

_Give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

::~::Rascal Flatts::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

The pattern continued. I'd see Violet once or twice a week, go home to Addison's place, sulk about her and Sam's obvious love for one another, wallow in self-pity... Lather, rinse, repeat.

After six weeks, Addison finally threatened to kick me out if I didn't make some decisions about what I was going to do.

"I'm worried about you, Callie. Why don't you see if anyone is hiring here?"

"Here? In LA?" I questioned. We were sitting on the back deck again as we listened to the waves crash against the surf. The moon was nearly full and cast an eerie glow on the water.

She nodded. "I love having you here, Cal, I really do. And I think you should stay. Only, maybe you should get a job and find your own place…"

I smirked. "Am I a burden, Addie?"

She laughed. "You make an amazing dinner every night and you do your own laundry and cleaning. You are no burden. I just think it's time for you to _do_ something about your life."

I sighed. "I know," I said. "I've been thinking about it. I don't really have anything back in Seattle and you and Violet have been lifesavers…"

"Do you want me to talk to Charlotte and see if she could use another ortho attending at St. Ambrose?"

I shook my head. "She has enough on her plate," I said.

"She's delving into her work right now. It's a coping mechanism. I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"Sure. Thanks. I've really been itching to cut lately…"

Addison grinned. "Spoken like a true surgeon."

..::*~*~*::..

Addison did speak to Charlotte, who then called me up the next day. She asked if I could meet with her in an hour, to which I replied in the affirmative.

I haven't been on an interview since I was applying for my internship at Seattle Grace. That was nearly seven years ago, so I was pretty nervous. But it was one of Addison's friends, so it should be too bad, right?

I've only met Charlotte twice. She's been, understandably, a bit distant from Addison's group of friends lately. I didn't know the gory details, nor did I want to know, but I knew she'd been attacked just before I'd arrived in LA by some lunatic at the hospital.

I knocked on a door marked "Charlotte King, M.D., Chief of Staff" and waited.

"Come in," I heard her call out from inside with a very Southern drawl. I opened the door and stuck my head inside. Charlotte, whose bruises and facial lacerations had long since healed, smiled at me. "Callie, please come in."

I closed the door behind me and moved to her desk. "Dr. King," I greeted, holding out my hand to shake.

She gripped my hand, but waved me off with the other. "It's Charlotte," she said. "No need to be too formal."

I nodded and we sat.

"Addison tells me you're thinking of staying in LA?"

I nodded. "There's really nothing keeping me in Seattle anymore and it's been nice being here."

Charlotte nodded. "Well, we don't really need another ortho attending," she said. My heart dropped. "But I called and chatted with Chief Webber at Seattle Grace-Mercy West and he was telling me what an amazingly talented surgeon you are."

"Chief Webber said that?" I questioned, somewhat astonished.

"You seem surprised," she noted.

I shrugged. "He just never seemed to be my biggest fan…"

"Hmm, well, he gave you an excellent recommendation. And he told me about your cartilage research. So I'd like to offer you a limited contract here as an attending, provided that you continue your research. Your salary would match what you were making at Seattle Grace-Mercy West. If, at the end of the contract, you prove to be the capable surgeon Chief Webber and Addison both claim you are, I'll offer you a permanent contract."

"Really?" I asked, shocked. "Just like that?"

She nodded. "Addison trusts you and I trust her judgment. How soon can you start?"

"I… wow. Oh, um, Monday?"

She nodded. "Good. It's settled. You start Monday morning, 8AM sharp."

"Thank you so much," I said. "You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"Just don't make a fool out of Addison," she said, but she was smiling.

I chuckled, not feeling completely useless for the first time in nearly six weeks. Maybe things were finally looking up.

..::*~*~*::..

"Are you ready to start working again?"

I thought carefully about my answer as I played with the zipper on my jacket. "I am, but I'm not at the same time," I said, looking up at Violet. "I'm excited to get back to surgery and my research. But I'm nervous, too."

"Why are you nervous?"

"I hate new places. I don't really know anyone at the hospital and I'm afraid I won't 'fit in.'"

"Is that all?" Violet asked.

I chewed my lip. "I'm also… afraid I'm going to fuck things up again."

"How so?"

I sighed. "Just… the way I do everything. I'm afraid I'll meet someone and fall in love, because I always seem to meet and fall for people I work with. I'm afraid they're going to leave me like everyone else. At the same time, I'm afraid that I _won't _ever meet someone and fall in love again. I'm not sure I could ever love someone I love as much as her."

"Arizona," Violet inferred.

I nodded.

"Have you heard anything from her recently?"

I shook my head.

"Do you want to?"

I started to shake my head no, but it turned into an affirmative nod. "I need to know that she's okay."

"Have you tried contacting her? E-mailing? Calling?"

I shook my head again. "I can't," I said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. That's another thing I'm great at."

Violet picked up a pad of paper and a pen. "I want you to write a letter to her. You don't have to send it. Just something short telling her that you're worried about her. Maybe we can perfect it and you can e-mail it to her later."

I took the paper and pen, but just sat there. I didn't know what to write. "What should I say?"

"It doesn't matter right now," she answered. "Just write what comes to your head. You can always add or delete stuff later."

I nodded and started writing.

_Dear Arizona. _

I scratched that out.

_Arizona,_

_I just want you to know that I still love you._

I scratched that out as well.

_strikeDear Arizona,/strike_

_Arizona,_

_strikeI just want you to know that I still love you./strike_

_I just want to know that you're alright. Please tell me that you're okay. _

_strikeI love you./strike_

_strikeI miss you./strike_

_strikeI need you./strike_

_I hope you're well. _

_strikeLove,/strike_

_strikeYours,/strike_

_strikeSincerely,/strike_

_strikeBest,/strike_

_strikeCalliope/strike_

_Callie  
_

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close _

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

::~::Rascal Flatts::~::


	5. Droplets

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Five - "Droplets"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

Still no Arizona. Sorry! She'll be there soon, I promise!

* * *

**Droplets**

_I'm leaving you_

_Not sure if that's what I should do_

_It hurts so bad_

_I'm wanting you but can't go back_

_Trying to find, find_

_That all elusive piece of mind_

_Stuck here somehow_

_Shrouded beneath my fear and doubt_

_And I don't need it_

::~::Colbie Caillat::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

Addison forced me to go out with her again to celebrate my new job and finding an apartment close by. Once again, I wasn't really in the mood to celebrate, but I humored her. She had a point. It's been six weeks since I came to LA. Almost seven since Arizona left. I needed to get out more.

I was able to focus on the conversation flowing around the table among the group. It was just the girls tonight, which was fine with me since I wouldn't have to see happy couple behavior.

"We need to find you a girl," Addison said.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not nearly ready for a relationship right now, Addie."

She grinned. "Who said anything about a relationship?"

"Oh, stop it, Addison," Amelia, who I'd come to learn was Derek Shepherd's little sister, came to my rescue. "She'll find someone when she's ready to."

"Thank you, Amelia," I said.

"Oh, puh-leeze!" Addison said, already buzzed. "How long has it been since you've gotten some? Two months?"

I shrugged. "Almost," I muttered. She knew very well that I hadn't been with anyone since Arizona.

"Oh, hey! I know," Addison said, sitting up straight. "Gretchen! That cute scrub nurse at the hospital. She likes the ladies. She'd be perfect!"

"No!" I cried. "No setting me up. Especially with someone I'm about to work with. Just no." I stood. "I'm going to get another drink." I stalked off towards the bar. I ordered and sat there nursing my drink for longer than necessary. I needed a moment to myself to cool down. I know Addison was only trying to help, but her brand of help was the last thing I needed right now.

"Can I get a dirty martini, please?" I heard a sweet voice say beside me. I glanced over and had to do a double take. Curly blonde hair, blue eyes, dimples. My heart began to race before I realized that the woman was too short, her hair too long and her eyes were more of a blue-green than the bright blue I was used to. She wasn't my Arizona.

The woman glanced at me and noticed me staring.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I thought you were someone I knew," I muttered.

The bartender placed her drink in front of her and she thanked him before turning to me. "You're Addison's friend, right? From Seattle?"

I nodded, shocked. "How'd you know?"

"She told me about you," the woman said. "And then I saw you sitting with her and put two and two together."

"She told _you_ about _me_?" I asked, incredulous and curious about what she'd heard.

The woman nodded. "Not a lot. Just that she had a friend staying with her and that you were newly single. I think she was going to try and set us up, but she said I looked too much like someone. I wasn't quite sure what to make of that."

I groaned. "I'm sorry," I said. "She's a great friend, but far too interested in my personal life."

"She cares," the woman said. "I'm Tabitha, by the way. Tabitha Bennett. I do the accounting for Oceanside Wellness."

"Callie Torres," I said, shaking her hand. "I'm an orthopedic surgeon at St. Ambrose Hospital."

Tabitha's eyebrows raised. "Really? Addison said you were from Seattle. Just here for a while to visit."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well, she talked me into staying. It wasn't that hard, actually. There was nothing keeping me in Seattle anymore." I said sadly while finished off my drink.

Tabitha smiled contemplatively and nodded her head to my empty glass. "Can I buy you another drink, Callie?"

..::*~*~*::..

"I met a woman."

"Where?"

"At the bar last night. She's a friend of Addison's."

"Did you sleep with her?"

Violet's question hung in the air for several seconds before I could answer. "No," I said. "I thought about it. She offered to take me back to her place, but I couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

I inhaled deeply. "Because I felt like I was cheating on her."

"On Arizona?"

I nodded. "I felt bad for leading the woman on, but I just couldn't go through with it. And I made a fool of myself in the process."

"How so?"

"I broke down crying right as she was about to kiss me," I explained.

"Was she angry?"

I shook my head. "No, and that just made me feel worse. She was so understanding and nice about it. I felt sick to my stomach."

"So, you felt like you would betray Arizona if you slept with another woman even though it's been two months since you've seen or heard from her?"

I nodded slowly.

"Why do you think that is?" Violet asked.

"Because… I still love her. More than anything. Because I know that if she were here, she'd be upset-"

"But she's not here," Violet interrupted. "You broke up. You're allowed to have a love life. To move on. What's stopping you from doing that?"

I chewed my bottom lip. "I don't want anyone else," I whispered. "I was only a little attracted to the woman because she resembled Arizona, but that only reminded me of Arizona and…" I shook my head. "I couldn't do it."

"Did you send that e-mail we composed last time?" Violet asked. The sudden change of subject momentarily threw me off and I blinked a few times. I shook my head no. "Why not?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It was just two sentences. 'I just want to know that you're alright. Please tell me that you're okay.'" I'd memorized it. "It seemed silly to send."

"Silly?"

"Yeah," I clarified. "Silly. She'd probably just ignore anything from me anyway."

"But you don't know until you try," Violet pointed out.

"I told Tabitha everything," I said. This time it was me who changed the subject, but Violet didn't miss a beat.

"Tabitha? The woman from the bar?"

I nodded. "When I started crying, she just said that she was a great listener and everything just came out. I couldn't stop myself."

"So you talked about Arizona?"

I nodded. "And George and Erica and my family…"

"Your abandonment issues?"

I cocked my head and looked at her. "Is that what I have? Abandonment issues?" I laughed bitterly. "Brilliant," I muttered.

"It's not that uncommon, Callie," Violet said. "And you have the classic signs. You feel like people are always going to leave you based on past experience, which makes you feel worthless and unlovable."

"Then I guess I do," I said sarcastically. "What drugs are there for this type of disorder?" I spat out. I wasn't mad at Violet. She was only trying to help.

Violet shook her head. "No drugs," she said. "And it's not a disorder. There's nothing _wrong _with you."

I scoffed. "Then why does everyone leave?"

"There are good reasons behind everyone's decision to 'leave' you," Violet said. "George, well, he was an idiot, but it sounds as if your marriage wasn't the best to start off with. Neither of you were completely honest in the beginning. Right?"

I nodded reluctantly. "But he didn't have to go and cheat on me."

"You're right, he didn't," Violet agreed. "But do you honestly think you'd still be together today if he didn't?"

I grunted. "No," I said truthfully.

"Okay, and Erica. Well, you kind of did to her what George did to you."

My stomach clenched and I nearly lost my lunch. "It was different," I defended meekly, even though I knew that it wasn't.

"Was it?"

"Yes," I said. "Kind of. I mean, I was confused!"

"You're defensive," Violet pointed out.

I bowed my head in defeat. "I know I shouldn't have dealt with things that way," I said. "But I honestly regretted it. George didn't regret it. And she left without saying goodbye."

"If she'd said goodbye, would that have helped?" she asked.

I thought about that. "Probably not," I said.

"Okay, so you're marriage wasn't the most stable to begin with and Erica walked away because she was hurt… you family. Yes, they left you, but they came back, right?"

I nodded. "I don't think they fully accept me, though."

"But they're trying."

I sighed. "I guess so."

"And Arizona… she didn't leave you because she no longer loves you. She left because of the grant. She didn't really have a choice."

I sighed. "I know that, but that doesn't make things any easier!" I practically yelled. "And I would have gone with her had she let me."

"Let you? Callie, how old are you?"

I gave her a confused look. "Thirty-three. Why?"

"Exactly. You're an adult. Why didn't you just get on the plane? She couldn't have stopped you."

I shook my head sadly. "She made it very clear that she didn't want me there with her."

'_Cause I'm walking down this road alone_

_And figured all I'm thinking 'bout is you_

_Is you, my love_

_And my head is in a cloud of rain_

_And the world, it seems so far away_

_And I'm just waiting for_

_The droplets, droplets_

::~::Colbie Caillat::~::


	6. Heavily Broken

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Six - "Heavily Broken"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

Still no Arizona. Sorry! She's coming back VERY SOON, I promise! Just hang in there! : )

* * *

**Heavily Broken**

_Every day I sit here waiting_

_Every day just seems so long _

_And now I've had enough of all the hating_

_Do you even care?_

_It's so unfair_

::~::The Veronicas::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

_Arizona,_

_I just want to know that you're alright. Please just tell me that you're okay. _

_Callie_

I thought the short e-mail was stupid, but Violet pushed me to send it. She said it would help. I'm not sure how, but I trusted her.

My mouse hovered over the 'SEND' button and I hesitated. I really wanted to add more to the e-mail. 'I miss you.' 'I love you.' 'Please come back to me.' 'I need you.'

But I didn't.

I hit the send button and let out the breath that I hadn't even realized that I'd been holding. Now all I had to do was wait.

I was startled when there was a knock on my apartment door. I still hadn't unpacked and I cursed as I tripped over an unopened box. I opened the door to find Addison on the other side, holding a cup carrier with two cups of coffee and a brown paper bag.

"Hey," she said, entering the apartment without an invitation. "Ready for your first day at St. Ambrose?"

I sighed and closed the door. "As ready as I'll ever be," I said.

"Here," she said, handing me the bag. "Breakfast and coffee. I figured you'd need it."

"Thanks," I said, opening the bag. Inside were pastries from a local bakery that Addison had introduced me to a few weeks ago.

"I thought I'd go with you today, show you around and all that," Addison said as she sipped her coffee.

I nodded and grimaced. "Thanks. I hate being the new kid."

We left shortly after that, making the short drive to the hospital in my rented car. "I guess I should actually buy a car now," I said on the way.

"What happened to your really cool blue car that you had in Seattle?"

I chuckled at Addison's description, then sighed. "I, ah, sold it when I thought I was going to Africa for three years," I said sadly. "I didn't want it just sitting in some garage for the entire time."

"You sold your baby?"

I nodded. "Yep."

"We'll have to get you an even cooler car, then," Addison said. I laughed.

At the hospital, Charlotte had Addison take me to H.R. where I got my ID and filled out a mountain of paperwork. Addison showed me around afterwards, taking me first to the locker room where I changed into the attending scrubs. They were a familiar dark blue and made me feel like a surgeon again. It was comforting.

Addison introduced me to some of the staff that I'd be working with, including Dr. Teresa Noble, head of Orthopedics. It was really nice to see a woman as head of a department that was highly male-dominated.

Dr. Noble shook my hand and took over the tour when Addison's phone went off, a patient having gone into labor.

"We have state of the art equipment here," Dr. Noble said, showing me the OR from the gallery. "I'm not sure how technologically advanced Seattle Grace-Mercy West was, but we have top of the line technology. Don't worry if it takes a while to get accustomed to it all. It took me forever."

I chuckled at the older woman's sense of humor. She was tall, taller than me even, and thin with dark brown hair that was streaked with silver and fell to her shoulders. I estimated her age to be around mid-fifties and she had an air of confidence about her that would have made her intimidating were it not to the warmth of her green eyes and genuine smile.

"How long have you worked here?" I asked as we observed a routine hip replacement surgery from the gallery.

"Hmm, twenty-eight years? That sounds about right. I've been here my entire career, right out of med school." She pointed into the O.R. "Now, that right there, the guy with the bone saw? That's Dr. Aaron Grant. Watch out for him. Excellent surgeon, but he hits on anyone with breasts. I give him ten minutes tops after meeting you before he tries to hit on you."

I chuckled. "My best friend back in Seattle is a manwhore, too. I know how to ward off unwanted attention. Besides, he doesn't interest me."

"You don't even know him," she said with a chuckle.

I cleared my throat. "Trust me, _he_ won't interest me."

"Ah, I see," Dr. Noble answered with a grin. "In that case, watch out for Dr. Jennifer Lakota. She also hits on anyone with breasts."

I grinned. "Thanks for the warning. But I'm sure I can handle myself."

My first day at the hospital was light. No surgeries yet, but a ton of paperwork and meeting new people. I'm glad I liked the department head, Dr. Noble. She was nice and friendly, but knew when to be serious.

My other colleagues seemed friendly enough, but I hadn't been able to chat with any of them enough to know if we'd get along or not. I did briefly meet Dr. Aaron Grant and, sure enough, he hit on me immediately, flashing his charming smile and holding onto my hand a bit too long during our handshake. I'd cleared my throat and pulled my hand back, shooting him a warning glare that he hadn't seemed to notice. Yep, this guy was definitely Mark's unknown twin.

Dr. Noble informed me as I was about to leave that I had surgery scheduled first thing tomorrow morning and I couldn't help but smile. I was definitely looking forward to getting back to surgery. I'd missed it. Almost as much as I'd missed Arizona. Almost.

..::*~*~*::..

"You still wear the necklace she gave you."

I immediately stopped fidgeting with the white gold heart on the white gold chain. "How did you know she gave it to me?"

Violet arched an eyebrow. "Lucky guess," she said. "And you play with it anytime you talk about her. Why do you still wear it?"

I returned my fingers to the heart pendant and studied Violet, contemplating my answer. "Honestly… I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "I feel weird not wearing it."

"Hmm… Tell me more about your actual relationship with Arizona," Violet said.

I'd been working a lot in my first week and hadn't had a chance to meet with Violet. I had thrown myself into work and research in attempt to stop thinking about Arizona and it had worked for a while. But then I'd go home and try to sleep and she'd just invade my dreams. And she hadn't replied to my e-mail.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Start at the beginning," she suggested. "I assume you met at the hospital in Seattle?"

I grinned at the memory of our first meeting. "No, actually, we didn't. We met at a bar across the street from the hospital where a lot of the doctors and nurses like to hang out after their shifts. I had been particularly depressed that day and had to excuse myself to the bathroom to compose myself. Arizona followed me and introduced herself. And then she kissed me."

"She just kissed you?"

I nodded. "She'd heard about me at the hospital and knew I was going through some rough times, I guess. Anyway, she kissed me and it was amazing."

"So you started dating afterwards?" Violet asked.

"Well, not exactly," I said, cringing when I remembered the following events. "When I went to ask her out a few days later, I happened to mention that she'd be only the second woman I was with and she turned me down because I was a 'newborn' and she didn't want to be an experiment."

"But you weren't just experimenting, right?"

"Right," I agreed. "But, still, it hurt and I was angry, but I didn't say anything."

"So how did you eventually get together?" she asked.

"Arizona eventually had a change of heart and asked me out after our shifts a few days later," I explained. "I'm not exactly sure why. I never really bothered to ask because I was just so happy she'd decided to give me a chance."

Violet nodded and leaned forward a bit. "Would you say your relationship was pretty smooth before she left for Africa?"

I breathed out. "Kind of," I said. "I mean, we did great until the baby thing…"

"Baby thing?"

"I wanted kids, I've always wanted kids, but Arizona didn't see kids in her, our, future," I explained solemnly.

"You fought over children," Violet repeated. "How did you solve that?"

"We didn't. Not at first. We just kind of avoided talking about it until I finally couldn't take it anymore. We argued and I finally relented and said I could live without kids. But I was lying and she knew it. We broke up."

"But you got back together at some point," Violet inferred.

I nodded. "We were both miserable," I said. "And then there was the shooting…"

"That's right," Violet said. "You were there that day?"

I nodded. "We both were. I'd been checking on a patient in the peds when the lockdown occurred, so we were stuck on the same floor. There was this little girl, Ruby, who had a ruptured appendix, but we couldn't get to the OR because of the lockdown. While we were getting supplies to help her, some… things were said. Hurtful things."

"Like what?"

I hesitated, unsure that I wanted to open this whole new can of worms. But I felt comfortable with Violet. "She said that she didn't trust me and that she had no reason to."

"Hmm, and how did you feel about that?"

"Hurt," I said. "Angry. Confused."

"Confused?" she questioned.

"Yeah," I said. "I mean, I'd given her no reason not to trust me. At least, I don't think I did. "

Violet nodded. "But, the shooting," she said. "It brought you back together?"

I nodded. "It made us both realize that we didn't want to be apart. I told her that I was willing to give up kids to be with her, but then she said she'd have kids to be with me. I'm not sure I believe her now."

"Why not?" Violet said.

I shrugged slightly. "I keep thinking that she's been looking for a way to take back what she said. About kids. Both of our emotions were running high after the shooting. What if… what if she really didn't want kids with me after all, so she used the Africa thing to get rid of me so she wouldn't have to deal with it?"

Violet narrowed her eyes slightly at me. "She applied for the grant before you two met," she pointed out.

"I know that," I said. "I just meant that maybe she told me not to go in order to break it off with me so she wouldn't have to honor her promise. Maybe she really _can _live without 'me and our ten kids.'"

_I'm heavily broken_

_And I don't know what to do_

_can't you see that I'm choking?_

_And I can't even move_

_When there's nothing left to say_

_What can you do?_

_I'm heavily broken_

_And there's nothing I can do_

::~::The Veronicas::~::


	7. End of May

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Seven - "End of May"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

* * *

**End of May**

_Golden haze_

_Another morning feels like yesterday_

_End of May…_

_Now you're gone and there's still bill to pay_

_And you know it doesn't help to make believe_

_That you're sitting next to me_

_It doesn't help to make believe_

_That you are right behind me_

_Saying it's okay…_

::~::Michael Buble::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

_Callie, _

_I'm so glad you wrote because I've been worried about you as well. I'm okay. I've been working here every day for the past few months, helping hundreds of children. You have to know how much leaving without you killed me. Every night when I try and fall asleep, I can't remember why I left, but then I get to save poor, malnourished children in need the next day and I remember. This is where I'm supposed to be. Seattle is where you're supposed to be. Fate just wasn't aligned for us. _

_I love you and miss you. Please, take care of yourself. _

_Arizona_

I laid back on my bed and started out the window at the Los Angeles skyline as the sun started to rise. I had an amazing view, but all I could think about were Arizona's words in her e-mail reply. I'd gotten it six weeks ago, two weeks after I'd sent my e-mail to her. I debated whether I should e-mail her back or not. Violet didn't think it was a good idea. She said continued contact would probably keep me from moving on.

I knew she was right.

But I also knew that I didn't want to move on.

But I had no choice. I'm here in LA (I chuckled when I remembered Arizona's words about my place being in Seattle), and she's there in Africa. We might as well be on different planets. So I hadn't replied, but the words kept echoing in my head on a nonstop loop.

I've long since gotten over my anger towards Arizona. Violet had helped with that. She'd helped me see that Arizona had only been thinking of me when she made me stay behind.

Though I was no longer angry, I was still hurt. And a little bitter. I remembered telling the camera crew from the documentary that if it were me who'd been awarded the grant, I wouldn't have accepted it. I wouldn't have considered moving to another continent if it meant leaving Arizona behind. And I'd meant it.

I haven't shared this bit with Violet. I'm afraid that she'll judge me for it. I know I should tell her and work through it, but I need to keep something private.

It's now been just over five months since Arizona left.

I live in LA now, surrounded by friends. I work at St. Ambrose Hospital and get along with my colleagues. And I've been continuing my research and making a lot of headway on it. I even cut my hair after telling Addison I was thinking about it. She'd shown up unannounced on my day off and dragged me to her hair stylist. I'd tried to back out of it, but they'd eventually worn me down. I'm happy with the results, though. I'd needed a change.

I still didn't let Addison or anyone else set me up with a blind date. After the disaster with Tabitha, I decided not to even try yet. I knew I was far from ready to date anyone. Violet agreed.

I grunted in frustration and rubbed my tired eyes. Why the hell couldn't I just stop wallowing in self pity and move on? This isn't like me. I don't pine for ex's for months. I can usually move on easily. Why was this so different?

I didn't even have to think about that answer. This was different because I'd never really pictured myself spending the rest of my life with other ex's, even George. I thought, with George, that I'd spend the rest of my life with him, but I couldn't picture it. I couldn't picture us ten, twenty, fifty years from now living happily together in a big house.

But I could easily _picture_ myself with Arizona when we were little old ladies, retired from medicine and traveling the world together. Sitting at home in front of the fireplace as grandkids played hide and go seek. Cuddled up in bed on cold, lazy mornings listening to music and watching sappy movies.

That's why. That's why this is so much worse than any other break up I've gone through.

But that didn't stop me from being mad at myself for becoming such a lovesick weakling. I'm Callie Torres, damnit! I'm a rockstar. Badass. I break bones for a living. I'm fucking hardcore and it's time I start acting like it.

I threw the covers off and quickly dressed, anxious to get to the hospital. Today, I'm going to re-immerse myself into my cartilage research. What's more hardcore than making cartilage from jell-o?

..::*~*~*::..

The sirens were nauseating. The high-pitched sound rang in my ears, making my head pound. I tried to open my eyes, but the harsh light of the sun caused me to snap them shut. I groaned in pain as I tried, and failed, to move my arm to rub my temple. What the hell?

"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you alright?"

The voice seemed far away and disembodied. Was it addressing me?

I tried to move. I whimpered.

"Don't, move," the voice instructed, seeming a bit closer this time.

I tried to open my eyes again, this time squinting. I saw dented metal and broken glass. I smelled smoke and tar. I heard sirens and shouts of panic. I felt pain over my entire body. I tasted blood.

"Ma'am, you've been in a car accident," the voice said calmly. I moved my eyes up to see the face of a man in yellow gear. A firefighter. I groaned, still not fully comprehending what was going on.

"Ma'am, can you tell me your name?" the firefighter asked.

I coughed and sputtered on the blood in my mouth. "C-Callie," I managed to say. I tried to move again, to turn my head to take in my surroundings, but the man stopped me.

"Don't move," he coaxed, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder and keeping me from moving my neck. Even though his touch was gentle, it sent a current of pain through my entire body and a wave of nausea ran threw me. My vision blurred and I whimpered again. The world began to fade to black.

"I need help over here!" I heard him call out as darkness encompassed me.

..::*~*~*::..

_[General POV]_

"What do we got?" the trauma surgeon at St. Ambrose hospital asked as she opened the door to the ambulance.

"Multiple MVC on the 405," the paramedic rattled off as he jumped from the back of the ambulance and they moved the gurney quickly inside the ER. "This one is female, early- to mid-thirties, several severe injuries to head, neck, abdomen and right leg. Sustained a severe concussion and looks like internal bleeding. Vitals dropped in the field and she lost consciousness. BP and heart rate are both low, but stable."

"Move on three," the surgeon, Dr. Jennifer Lakota, said once they'd reached a trauma room. The team of doctors gripped the sides of the backboard and prepared to lift. "One, two, three."

Once successfully moved to the bed, they went to work to try and save the woman's life.

"Someone might want to look at her cheekbone," the paramedic said. "It looks like she could have a severely fractured right zygomatic bone that may have pierced the optic nerve."

Dr. Lakota nodded and indicated for a resident to check it out. The resident lifted the bandages covering the majority of the patient's face and gasped aloud. It wasn't the sight of the wound on the right cheekbone or even the massive bruising and obvious trauma to the right side of the face that made the young man gasp. It was at the realization that this was no random person from off the street.

"Dr. Lakota!" the resident cried out.

"Kind of busy saving a life here, Dr. Freeman," the surgeon said without looking up as she quickly assessed the right leg of the patient, hoping it could be saved. "Someone page Dr. Torres to look at this leg," she barked out.

"Dr. Lakota!" Dr. Freeman cried out again. "This _is_ Dr. Torres!"

Everyone in the room stopped and looked up, gasping when they realized that the young doctor was right.

The heart monitor suddenly hummed in a single-pitched, long line.

"She's coding!" Dr. Lakota yelled. "Someone page Dr. Noble and the Chief! STAT!"

..::*~*~*::..

_[Arizona's POV - Blantyre, Malawi, Africa]_

I was dead on my feet. I'd worked a fifteen hour day saving little kids and making families happy. That made everything worth it. To see that joy when a parent who would otherwise be burying their child receives the good news that their child would live.

At least, it was worth it in the moment. Like now. I watched as a mother praised her God as she sat by her now healthy son's bedside. I'd removed a tumor earlier in the day. Without the surgery, he have been dead within a few weeks. I'd been able to save him.

That's what this was about.

I forced myself to remember that at night when I was lying in bed alone, wishing that a certain raven-haired Latina was lying curled up next to me.

"Why don't you go on back to your apartment, Dr. Robbins?" a voice pulled me out of my daydreams. "I can close up here."

I turned to see Dr. Wells, a young but very talented surgeon from Finland, looking at me with concern in his eyes. Dr. Wells and I had formed a friendship over the past several months. We both shared similar stories, both having left loved ones behind.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. "Are you sure?" I asked.

He nodded. "Go. You look exhausted."

"Thanks," I murmured and left the clinic we'd set up. It wasn't much, just an old building with three make-shift OR's. But those make-shift OR's have saved hundreds of children already.

I climbed the rickety stairs of the apartment building that the grant paid for. It wasn't much considering the run-down area of the city we were in, but it had electricity and running water. Granted, the water wasn't quite as hot as I'd like, but it was better than no running water.

I let myself into the small apartment, glad to alone, yet scared to be alone at the same time. I wasn't scared for my safety or anything; the grant foundation had also hired security workers to accompany us and secure the building just in case there was trouble. So far, we've had no trouble whatsoever. No, I was scared because when I was alone, I started thinking about Calliope - Callie, I corrected myself.

I sighed as I fell back onto an old, lumpy couch, kicking off my shoes and turning on the cell phone that the grant foundation had given me. Surprisingly, it worked here. I'm no technology expert, but I didn't think that I'd be able to call home on a cell phone. Granted, I had to dial a bazillion numbers to do so and I was limited to 200 minutes a month, but I was still able to call home and receive calls as well.

I quirked my eyebrow when I noticed that I had nine missed calls and my voicemail was full. I dialed my voicemail and put the phone to my ear. What I heard caused me to tense and nearly drop the phone as a wave of panic and nausea rolled over me.

"_Arizona, it's Teddy. I-I just got a phone call from Addison in LA. She… uh, there's been an accident. I, uh, I hate to have to tell you this on your voicemail, but it's-it's Callie. She's been hurt. Badly. They… they're not sure that she'll survive the next 24 hours. You need to come home."_

_Longer days_

_More time to sit and watch the pendulum sway_

_In quiet rage I'm staring at this empty notebook page_

_In times like these you feel like you are done with feeling_

_You feel you want to stop the pain from healing_

_Because you feel like you are the only one_

_Who feels this way…_

::~::Michael Buble::~::


	8. Please Don't Leave Me

**Title: **Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Eight - "Please Don't Leave Me"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

* * *

**Please Don't Leave Me**

_I forgot to say out loud_

_How beautiful you really are to me_

_I cannot be without_

_You're my perfect little punching bag_

_And I need you_

_I'm sorry_

::~::Pink::~::

_[Arizona's POV]_

Flying had always frightened me. It's irrational, I knew, but I'd always imagine the worst case scenario when I was stuck in a steal trap several thousand feet in the air. Take offs and landings were the worst part.

However, my fear of flying was the furthest thing from my mind at the moment, even though we were coming in for a landing at LAX.

After getting Teddy's voicemail message, I'd been in complete shock, unable to move for all of two minutes before I'd sprung into action. I'd called the head of the grant foundation back in the states, uncaring that it was the middle of the night and he was probably asleep. I'd rushed to explain the situation, all the while throwing clothes and toiletries haphazardly into a backpack. He'd been a bit exasperated by my sudden requests-demands-but had relented when I'd pleaded with him, asking him what he'd do if the love of his life was critically injured.

I was at the airport in Blantyre within half an hour. It had taken hours of logistics and frustrating phone calls to the states, but I'd eventually gotten on a flight LA-bound with only one layover at Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Int'l Airport.

It took me a total of 26 hours and 17 minutes from the time I received Teddy's phone call to when I exited LAX Airport, looking around anxiously.

"Arizona!" I heard a voice from my right. I looked at was relieved to see the tall redhead waving me over to a car. I'd been shocked when I'd called Teddy back amidst the chaos to discover that Callie had moved to LA months ago. After finding that out, I'd immediately called Addison. She'd been surprised to hear from me, but sounded relieved that I was on my way. She'd agreed to pick me up from the airport so I didn't have to deal with the hassle of finding a cab.

I jogged over to Addison and she gave me a quick hug before grabbing my one bag and tossing it into the backseat as I slid into the passenger seat, anxious to get to the hospital.

"How is she?" I asked as soon as Addison got behind the wheel.

She shook her head as she navigated the bustling lanes of airport traffic. "It's still touch and go," she said quietly, her voice cracking.

I stared out the passenger window for the rest of the ride, willing myself to be strong for Calliope. She needed me right now.

_I_ needed _her_.

I didn't even grab my bag out of the back before bolting out of the car as soon as Addison had pulled into an empty parking spot. She wasn't far behind me, which was good considering I had no idea where the hell I was going once inside.

"ICU, room 1412," Addison said as we exited the elevator. She guided me quickly down the hall.

We stopped in front of 1412 and I froze, a rush of emotion filling me as I spied Calliope, _my Calliope_, through the small window on the door. She was unrecognizable. Her face and head were covered in bandages, hiding her beauty.

I'd been so focused on _getting_ here to LA that I hadn't fully allowed the acute fear and worry to infiltrate my mind. I felt my knees give out as a whimper tore through my body.

Addison gripped my arm and guided me into a chair by the door. I sat heavily, sobs wracking my entire body.

I felt Addison sit next to me and rub my back. I didn't know her very well, but I was thankful for the human contact at the moment.

"She can't die," I heaved through my sobs. "She can't die. She can't. I need her too much. She can't die."

Addison soothed me through my mantra until my sobs finally quieted. I was embarrassed by my breakdown, but I really couldn't care less at the moment. I suddenly had the overwhelming need to see her, touch her. I stood abruptly and moved to stand in front of the door, my hand on the handle. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Addison asked from my side. I glanced up at her, noting the worry in her eyes.

I shook my head. "I need to do this alone," I whispered.

She nodded and squeezed my shoulder.

I took another deep breath and pushed my way inside the room.

As a surgeon, I'm used to beeping machines that monitor patients. I'm used to seeing people with breathing tubes down their throat and numerous wires and tubes connecting various parts of their bodies to machines or IV bags.

What I'm not used to is that person being Calliope. What I'm not used to is seeing the woman I loved fighting for her life. What I'm not used to seeing is Calliope looking so… lifeless. Unmoving. Unresponsive.

I sat heavily in a chair by her bed, reaching out to touch her. I hovered over her arm, afraid to touch her but needing to. I let my fingers brush over the smooth skin of her uninjured arm, nearly crying out at the pulse of energy I felt flow through my fingertips.

"Calliope," I whispered, my voice hoarse with emotion as tears streamed down my cheeks, dripping freely off my chin. "Calliope, please, wake up. Please. I need you."

I wiped my cheeks with my free hand.

"I'm sorry," I said, leaning forward to place my head on the bed beside her arm. "I'm sorry I left. I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry. I was an idiot to leave you. I love you."

I sat there for several more minutes, praying to a God that I'm not sure I believe in. I prayed to the God that I knew Calliope believed in and trusted.

"Arizona, right?"

The sudden voice startled me out of my inner monologue of prayer. I looked up to see a brunette standing in the doorway, a compassionate look on her face as she looked at me with worry.

"R-right," I answered. "Who are you?" I asked, politeness be damned.

She gave me a small smile before her face returned to worry. "I'm Violet Turner," she said as she walked further into the room, allowing the door to close behind her. "Addison told me you were here and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I wiped my cheeks again and gave her a curious stare.

She sat in the chair next to me as she studied me. "I've talked a lot with Callie over the past few months," she explained. "Or, she's talked to me."

"Why?" I asked, wondering why she was telling me this now of all times.

"She still loves you," Violet said, avoiding the question. "She misses you and would be glad to know that you're here."

I glanced at Calliope's gauze-covered face. "How could I not be here?" I whispered. "I should have never left. She wouldn't be here if I hadn't left."

"You can't blame yourself, Arizona," Violet said. "She wouldn't want you to do that."

"How do you know?" I spat angrily. "What, are you her girlfriend or something?"

"Or something," she replied, not even blinking at my rudeness. "I'm her friend… and her therapist."

I knit my brows. "Therapist?"

Violet nodded. "She told me a lot about you," she said.

I inhaled quickly. "So you probably think I'm a real bitch," I muttered.

"Not at all," Violet said. "From what I hear, you're an amazing woman that Callie loves very much and wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this."

I searched her face and found only honesty in her expression.

"I shouldn't actually be telling you all this seeing as she's a client, but what Callie had to say about you showed me how much she does love you and wants you to be happy. I'm not going to lie and say she didn't blame you for leaving at first, but she's worked through a lot of emotion and issues in the past five months. I'm also not going to lie and say she's not still hurt that you left, but she knows that you had to. She knows that this was bigger than the both of you."

I shook my head as she spoke. "But it's not," I said. "She could… She could die and the last thing I said to her was that she was ruining Africa for me. I didn't even tell her that I love her."

"Tell her now," Violet said.

I looked at her questioningly.

"If you don't want those to be your last words to her, then tell you that you love her now."

I didn't want to think about what Violet's words were implying, but I couldn't stop my mind from going there. Violet didn't think she'd make it. She was urging me to say my goodbyes.

I broke.

"Oh, God," I cried out, gripping Callie's uninjured arm tighter as I buried my face in the sheets beside her arm as I sobbed. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much, Calliope. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't leave me."

I kept repeating the words, not even noticing Violet slipping quietly out of the room.

_Please don't leave me._

_Please don't leave me._

_I always say that I don't need you_

_But it's always gonna come right back to this_

_Please don't leave me_

::~::Pink::~::

* * *

**Author's Note**: I'd just like to note that I haven't forgotten Callie's family, who I know would be at her side. They're there and will appear in future chapters. I just wanted Arizona to have a moment where it was just her and Callie. I haven't overlooked Callie's family. Also, I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I thought y'all deserved something for being so patient and awesome. I love you all. : )


	9. Pitter Pat

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Nine - "Pitter Pat"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

**Warning**: have tissues handy. =p

* * *

**Pitter Pat**

_Tugged the moon into the ground_

_Turned this bedroom upside down tonight_

_Took my faith and I breathed it out_

_Then walked right through a cloud of flashing lights_

_Bright lights._

_Pain takes my heart's place_

_The love we made we can't erase it_

_Don't want to face it_

::~::Erin McCarley::~::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I awoke feeling sore and groggy and weak from the horrible nightmare I'd had.

I lifted my head and blinked several times to clear my vision, momentarily confused.

Then I realized that I was in a hospital room. I glanced at the motionless figure lying on the bed before me.

It hadn't been a dream.

Tears formed in my eyes. I sensed a movement from my immediate right and jumped, startled.

"Hey, hey, it's just me," a strong, masculine voice said as arms pulled me close.

"Mark," I said as I relaxed into his embrace. We've never been close, that's for damn sure, but we had one thing in common. Calliope.

I sniffled and pulled back, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "How long have you been here?" I asked, my voice hoarse from emotion and not enough sleep.

"About an hour," he replied. "Lexie and I were in Paris when we heard and it took us forever to get here."

"You an Lexie? You're back together?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yeah."

I sniffled again and turned back to Calliope. I swallowed hard. "Has there been any change since last night?" I whispered.

I felt him shake his head. "No," he breathed out.

I rolled my lips inward and took a deep, shuddering breath. I was about to ask about her vitals when I heard the door ease open. I glanced up to see a tall woman that bore a striking resemblance to Calliope. I knew in an instant that this had to be her mother.

I stood and wiped my suddenly damp palms on my jean-clad thighs, waiting for the woman to speak. If possible, this woman was even more intimidating that Carlos Torres.

"I assume you're Arizona?" she asked, her voice surprisingly calm and warm.

I nodded. Mark stood up next to me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to go get some coffee," he mumbled, giving my shoulder a slight squeeze.

I nodded and he left, leaving me alone with Calliope's mother.

"Maria Torres," she offered as she stood next to Calliope's bed, stroking an uncovered portion of Calliope's forehead. She was silent for several moments, studying her daughter. When she finally spoke, it startled me. "I've never seen her so happy."

I glanced up in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

She lifted her gaze to meet mine and I sucked in a quick breath at her eyes so similar to the chocolate brown eyes of the woman I loved. It was as if I were looking at an older version of Calliope.

"Calliope," Maria said. "I've never seen her as happy as when she was with you."

"I-" I started, but she interrupted me.

"She wasn't happy growing up," she said. "She wasn't sad, mind you, but she wasn't happy. Not as happy as she deserved to be. It's hard for a mother to keep seeing your child hurt. Heartbreak seemed to follow her everywhere she went. High school, college, med school, even after. But then she met you. I didn't understand at first. I still don't, really. But she was happy. I tried to get Carlos to relent and accept her, but he's so stubborn sometimes. Just like my Calliope." She chuckled slightly and shook her head. "But she didn't need me to defend her. She had you. You made Carlos realize that she was finally happy. That's all he's ever wanted for her."

She leaned down and kissed the unbandaged stop lightly. "Que sueñes con los angelitos, mija," she whispered, a single tear escaping down her smooth cheek.

I choked on a sob as I sank onto the chair. Calliope used to say that to me every night as we drifted off to sleep in each others arms. I remember asking her what it meant just months after we'd started dating.

::*::*::*::

"_Que sueñes con los angelitos, mi amor," she whispered into my ear. _

"_Hmm," I hummed, nearly asleep as she curled her naked body against my equally naked back. "What does that mean?" I asked drowsily. _

"_It means, 'Sleep with little angels, my love,'" she whispered into my ear, nibbling the lobe. "It's the Spanish equivalent to 'sweet dreams.'"_

_I groaned as she pressed her lips to my neck, her tongue peaking out to tease and taste. We'd just made love, but it was apparent that she wasn't opposed to another round. And neither was I. _

_I turned in her arms and brought my lips to hers, demanding entry. She moaned as I pushed her onto her back and settled myself on top of her, our mouths never parting. _

_Hands roamed, breathing quickened, ecstasy ensued. _

_And once we'd both managed to regain our composure and assumed our sleeping positions-on our sides, her spooning me from behind-she brushed my hair away from my ear and whispered softly, "Que sueñes con los angelitos, mi amor."_

::*::*::*::

We'd been so happy. So in love. So… perfect.

And now she was lying in a hospital bed in a comatose state, hooked up to a ventilator.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Maria sitting next to me.

I had to look away. I couldn't meet her gaze.

"I failed her," I whispered, reaching out to touch Calliope's arm.

The older woman's hand came to rest on top of my own. "You didn't fail her," she said. "You saved her."

I shook my head. "She wouldn't be here if I had stayed."

"Look at me," the woman demanded.

I sniffled, but turned my head slowly to meet her eyes. I was frightened of what I'd find; Anger. Accusation. Hatred. I was surprised to only see concern and compassion in the all too familiar eyes.

"I know my daughter," she said, her Spanish accent thick from emotion. Calliope was the same way. Her accent really only emerges when she's really emotional. "She wouldn't want you to think like that, you hear?"

I tried to look away but Maria placed a graceful hand on my cheek, keeping me from looking away.

"You were good for her," she said. "And I have no doubt she was waiting for you to return."

I knit my eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

She nodded. "I could tell," she said. "When I last talked to her and asked if she was seeing anyone-a mother must ask, you know. I could tell she wasn't going to. She was waiting for you. I know she was."

I sucked in a quick gasp and closed my eyes against the pain. "Why would she wait for _me_?" I whispered.

"Because you're an extraordinary woman, Arizona," Maria said. "And she loved you. It's as simple as that."

I opened my eyes and looked at the lifeless figure lying on the bed less than three feet away. "She can't leave me," I whispered. "I need her."

"Then have faith," Maria said, her hand still covering mine where it laid against Calliope's arm. "Have faith and pray."

_Pitter pat the angel on my shoulder_

_Is haunting me tonight_

_Tick-tock the clock is getting louder _

_Ready for me to decide _

::~::Erin McCarley::~::


	10. Keep Holding On

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Ten - "Keep Holding On"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

Umm, so, yeah, don't get too used to the lighting fast updates... I'm just on Thanksgiving break and managed to not have any work to do over the break. Once I get back to classes on Monday, I'll be in the midst of preparing for my finals which will begin in less than two weeks. But I wanted y'all to get a few decent updates while I could update. I'm hoping to be able to continue this fic for a while, but no promises. The good thing is that once I'm finished with the semester, I'll have an entire month of no school. Which means lots of updates for y'all (hopefully). Yay. Okay, so enjoy this chapter. Again, I have absolutely no medical knowledge, so forgive me any medical mistakes. Thanks!

* * *

**Keep Holding On**

_You're not alone_

_Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side_

_You know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold_

_And it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go_

_You know I won't give in_

_No, I won't give in_

::~::Avril Lavigne::~::

_[Arizona's POV]_

Over the next two days, I never left Calliope's bedside. Even when Mark, Maria and the nurses all suggested that I get some sleep, I'd just requested a cot to be brought in. Mark or Maria brought me food three times a day and I took two minute showers in the adjoining bathroom. Aria had loaned me some clothes to change into. Carlos hadn't said much to me any time he was in the room, he mainly talked to Calliope or whispered prayers.

I'd feared, at first, that he'd object to my being in the room, but he hadn't. I wasn't sure if it was because he'd really come around on the subject or if Maria had talked sense into him, but I was grateful nonetheless. I couldn't imagine not being able to sit by her side. It would have driven me insane.

I was brought out of my thoughts as the door opened and Maria, Carlos and Aria entered the room. I stood from my chair to allow Maria to sit. Aria, who I'd quickly formed a bond with, gave me a quick hug before handing me a paper bag. I smiled when I noticed the logo of a local bakery and looked inside to find two glazed donuts with rainbow sprinkles. "Callie happened to mention that you liked donuts with sprinkles," Aria said.

"Thank you," I said, pulling out a donut and taking a bite of my favorite comfort food.

"I saw Mark and Lexie outside," Aria informed me. "It looks like they were bearing coffee."

No sooner were the words out of Aria's mouth when the door opened again and Mark and Lexie entered the room, Addison and Violet close behind. We were way over the two visitor at a time limit, but since Calliope was a surgeon at this hospital, that rule was overlooked for her.

Mark handed me a coffee, which I accepted gratefully, needing the caffeine.

"Anything?" Addison asked.

I shook my head. She still hadn't woken up. They'd finally been able to remove the breathing tube last night, but nothing had changed otherwise.

"She'll wake up," Addison said, wrapping and arm around my shoulders. She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself of that, which I'm sure she was. We all were. I think we were all failing.

"Arizona," a voice interrupted. I looked over to see Carlos standing nearby. "I was wondering if I could have a word?"

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. "Um, sure," I said.

"In private," he indicated.

"Oh, I, um…" I looked around, not wanting to leave the room.

"It's okay," Addison said. "We'll all be here in case something happens."

I nodded and Carlos led the way out of the room. I followed, my heart pounding with nerves. What did he want to talk to me about?

He led me to a small conference room just across the hall and held the door open for me. I sat carefully at the table as he sat across from me. I waited.

He seemed to steady himself before looking up at me, expression unreadable. I licked my suddenly dry lips in a nervous gesture.

"I wanted to apologize."

I raised my eyebrows again in surprise. "Apologize?" I questioned.

He folded his hands on the table in front of him and nodded. "Yes," he said. "I wasn't fair to you or Calliope before. I've since accepted your relationship, but I never offered my apologies or tried to explain myself."

I shook my head. "You don't have to explain yourself, Mr. Torres," I started.

"Carlos, please."

I nodded. "Carlos, you don't have to explain yourself. I get that you were only trying to protect her. You just didn't realize that she doesn't need protecting."

He nodded. "You're right, but I'm her father. It comes with the job. And it seems like you've done a good job at protecting her."

His words cut deep, unbeknownst to him and tears immediately sprang to my eyes. I sniffled and shook my head. "But not when it mattered the most," I said quietly.

"You're not still blaming yourself, are you?" Carlos asked in a stern voice. I gave him a surprised look. "Maria told me," he explained. "You shouldn't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault."

"But if I hadn't left-"

"You would have resented Calliope and driven her away," he finished for me.

I was silent. I knew he was right, but I was unwilling to admit it.

"It's easy to blame yourself in times like these," he said. "I blamed myself, too."

I knit my eyebrows in confusion. He nodded.

"Yes. I should have tried harder to convince her to come home instead of moving to LA. Then she would have been in Miami. I quickly learned that you cannot blame yourself for things that are out of your hands. It's not your fault. You are not to blame for this."

I nodded slowly, feeling a little better but I still had that nagging voice in the back of my head pointing fingers and issuing accusations.

"I want you to know," Carlos said, breaking me from my thoughts, "that if this… doesn't end well, you'll always be like family to us."

I inhaled quickly from both fear and surprise. Fear that his words of it not ending well would come true and surprise at his acceptance of me into their family.

Before I could respond, the door burst open and Lexie rushed into the room. "She's waking up!" she practically screamed. Carlos and I both jumped out of our chairs. "And she's asking for you."

::*~*~*::

_[Callie's POV]_

I hurt. Everywhere.

I tried to open my eyes to no avail. I tried to move, but was hampered by something unknown. Oh, God, what's going on? I thought to myself.

I thought I heard voices.

I tried to speak, but my throat was dry and my tongue felt like cotton.

The voice became closer and I recognized a familiar voice singing softly.

_Dame la mano y danzaremos_

_Dame la mano y me amarás _

_Como una sola flor seremos_

_Como una flor, y nada más…_

The lullaby was familiar. My mother had sung it to me as a child.

I slowly became aware of all the other voices around me that sounded so familiar. They were getting clearer. I could make out that my sister and father. I realized that it was my mother singing softly. I heard Addison say something, then Mark reply. Then I heard another voice. One so sweet and remarkable. I had to be hallucinating. Hearing things. Because I thought I'd heard Arizona.

But that's impossible, right? She's in Africa. Yeah, that's it, I'm dreaming.

But why did I hurt so badly?

Then I heard my father whisper into my ear. "Tienes que despertar, mija. Tienes que despertar para todos nosotros. Especialmente para tu Arizona. Despierta para ella, mija. Por favor, mija. Despertar." Then I felt him place a gentle kiss on my temple. I tried to say something, to tell them all that I _am _awake! I could hear them, but my eyes refused to open. My mouth and tongue refused to move and make a sound. I tried to groan in frustration, but that didn't work.

I heard the door open and shut. I concentrated on attempting to move. Someone was clasping my hand. Maybe I could squeeze it. I tried, but was unsuccessful. I focused all my energy on twitching my hand and managed to move a few minutes later.

"Oh, my God, she moved her hand!" I heard someone screech. It was definitely my mother. The sudden sound hurt my head and was able to groan softly this time. "Calliope," she said. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand again."

I did. That seemed to kickstart my entire body.

"Oh, mija," my mother cried out. I felt movement of others surround my bed.

"Callie," someone said, it sounded like Addison. "Can you open your eyes for us?"

I tried again, my left eyelid fluttering open. I immediately realized that my right eye was covered in gauze, preventing it from opening. Surrounding me were familiar faces, my mother, Aria, Mark, Lexie, Addison and Violet. Where was Arizona? I know I heard her a few moments ago. And my father?

"Oh, mija," my mother cried out again, clutching my hand tighter.

"A-Ar-" I coughed from my dry throat. "Arizona?" I finally managed to get out. Everyone looked around.

"I'll go get her," Lexie said, rushing out of the room.

"I'm going to get a nurse to page Dr. Reynolds," Addison said, naming the neurologist, and quickly left the room.

"Welcome back, Torres," Mark said with a smile. "You had us scared there."

I tried to respond with something witty, but ended up coughing.

"Shh," my mother said. "Don't try to talk. We'll get you some water soon, okay?"

I tired to nod, but soon realized that my neck was in a brace, preventing me from moving. It was then I finally realized that I was in a hospital bed surrounded by machines. What the hell happened?

The door suddenly burst open and there was a frenzy of movement at my bedside. "Oh, my God, Calliope," I heard the sweetest voice cry out. I moved my eyes over to meet the bright blue ones that I'd become so familiar with.

"Arizona," I wheezed out. "You're here," I said in wonder, half convinced that I was hallucinating.

She smiled broadly. "Of course I'm here," she whispered as she leaned down to kiss my lips softly. "Of course I'm here," she repeated as she pulled back and brushed her fingers across my temple as tears tracked down her cheeks. "Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again, Calliope Torres, do you hear me?"

"I'll try not to," I whispered weakly.

The door opened and Addison reentered with Dr. Reynolds in tow. "Okay, we need to clear the room," he said as he made his way to my bedside. "One of you can stay while I examine her, but the rest need to wait outside."

I quickly grasped Arizona's hand, making my preference known. I was grateful when no one protested and the others left the room.

"Good morning, Dr. Torres," Dr. Reynolds said as he moved to shine a pen light in my left eye to check my pupil response.

"What happened?" I croaked out, my voice hoarse. I coughed.

"Will you get her some water?" Dr. Reynolds asked the nurse before turning back to me. She nodded and left the room. "You were in a car accident," he explained, continuing his examination. "Follow my fingers with your eye." He moved them from left to right to left again and I did as he asked. "You've sustained a severe head trauma as well as several crush injuries. You had a subdural hematoma that I had to drain. Your ICP has been slightly elevated, which caused your comatose state."

The nurse reentered the room and handed the cup of water to Arizona, who held the straw to my lips. I sipped, immediately felt relief. "Coma?" I asked once I'd taken a few sips. "I've been in a coma?" I felt Arizona squeeze my hand in reassurance.

Dr. Reynolds nodded. "But it looks like your ICP has come down and your neurological function is back to normal," he said.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"A little over four days," he said. "And Dr. Robbins here has been by your side nearly the entire time."

I glanced up at Arizona and felt a tear roll down my temple. "You have?"

She smiled softly. "Of course I have," she said.

"You're doing good with your neurological function for now," Dr. Reynolds said, jotting something on my chart. "I'll need to keep a close eye on you for the next several days, but I think you'll be fine. I'll page Dr. Noble to fill you in on your crush injuries."

"Thank you," Arizona said, her shoulders loosening with relief.

Dr. Reynolds nodded and backed out of the room. "I'll page Dr. Noble now," he said. "Welcome back, Dr. Torres," he said before closing the door behind him.

"More water?" Arizona offered, holding up the plastic cup. I took a few more sips. She put the cup on the table and leaned over me again, kissing my temple. I inhaled deeply, not caring that it hurt my ribs to do so. I needed to smell her, a mixture of coconut shampoo and a light, powdery perfume. It was so familiar, so comforting.

"I was so scared," Arizona said as she pulled back slightly to meet my uncovered eye with her baby blue ones. I saw her swallow hard. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me."

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through_

_We'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you_

_I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you can say_

_Nothing you can do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on _

'_Cause you know we'll make it through_

_We'll make it through_

::~::Avril Lavigne::~::


	11. Life After You

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Eleven - "Life After You"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Please be aware that Arizona is not present in the first several chapters since I'm more interested in how Callie is coping post-airport scream-fest. I love Arizona to death, but I just don't think I could do the Arizona working in Africa plot justice. She is in Africa, but we won't see her until she comes back to the states. I'm not going to tell you how long that will be, however. ;)

* * *

**Life After You**

_The last time we talked, the night that I walked_

_Burns like an iron in the back of my mind_

_I must have been high to say you and I_

_Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time_

_Oh, why did I ever doubt you?_

_You know I would die here without you_

::~::Daughtry::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

"I'll be honest, Callie," Dr. Noble said after doing a quick examination of my leg and arm. "I'm going to try my damnedest, but you know the likelihood of you regaining full use of your leg is small. There's substantial damage to the femur and surrounding tissue. You're going to need several surgeries before you can even try and walk again. The good news is that the damage to your spine is superficial and will heal on its own in a few weeks. And your arm should be fine after it heals in four weeks or so. You may need to do some strengthening exercises before you're able to perform surgery again, but, barring any complications, I foresee no issues there."

I let out a breath of relief. Yeah, I was bummed about the possibility of not having full function of my leg again, but the idea of not being able to perform surgery for the rest of my life had been higher on my 'would seriously depress me' list.

I felt Arizona squeeze my hand. "When will her next surgery be?" she asked.

Dr. Noble reviewed my chart briefly. "I think I can go in tomorrow evening," she said. "I want to give the tissue a little more time to reduce its swelling, but don't want to wait too long. We stopped the bleeding in the first surgery, but it could begin again if we don't go in soon."

"What about my eye?" I asked, nervous about the answer. If my vision were compromised, I still may not be able to work. "My vision?"

Dr. Noble turned and gave me a sympathetic look. "Your cheekbone was fractured pretty badly, but it doesn't appear to have hurt the optic nerve. We can't be sure until we repair the cheekbone, which we'll do the same time we work on your leg. We'll also get a plastic surgeon to help to reduce scarring."

"Mark. Get Mark Sloan."

Arizona had taken the words right out of my mouth. I looked up at her in surprise. She shrugged. "He's the best," she said. "When it comes to plastics, I mean."

I tried to smile, but it hurt to, so I squeezed her hand. I glanced back at Dr. Noble who was looking at me expectantly. "Mark Sloan," I insisted. "He's here from Seattle Grace-Mercy West. And she's right. He is the best."

"When it comes to plastics," I heard Arizona murmur under her breath. I squeezed her hand again in reassurance.

"He's just outside, right?" Dr. Noble asked.

Arizona nodded. "The tall one with graying hair," she said.

"I'll talk to him now and see about getting him clearance for the OR by tomorrow evening."

"Thank you," I said.

As soon as Dr. Noble left, everyone else, save Mark, reentered the room, bombarding me with questions of "How are you feeling?", "Do you need any pain meds?", and "Are you thirsty?" I loved them all, really I did, but I was overwhelmed by all the people surrounding me. I'm not used to being the center of attention like this. And I was exhausted.

Lexie seemed to be the one who noticed how overwhelmed I was because she suggested that they all let me get some rest. I gave her a grateful look. I knew I liked her for a reason. That and she somehow seemed to tame Mark.

Everyone said their goodbyes, some, like my mother, taking longer than others. Finally, it was just Arizona and I in the room. She appeared nervous and unsure.

"Do, um… Did you want me to leave for a while?" she asked. "Because I can go and let you get some rest." She started to take a step back, but I grabbed her hand.

"Stay," I said. "Please."

"Are you sure?" she asked, still looking unsure of herself.

"Yeah," I said. "I love my family and friends, but they were smothering me. But you don't."

She smiled softly and sat down in the chair, still clasping my hand. Silence fell, a little awkward.

I finally couldn't stand the quiet any longer. "Have you really been by my side for three days?"

Arizona nodded. "I have. I would have been here sooner, but it was hell trying to get a flight out of Blantyre on such short notice."

"But you did it for me?"

"Of course I did," she insisted, voice full of emotion. She brought my hand to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. "I was so scared when I got that call," she said. "I knew I had to be here."

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. "But, what about the grant?" I asked, scared that her answer was going to be that she planned on being here for a few days or weeks, then was going to return to Malawi.

"Fuck the grant," she said quickly, then reddened. "I, um, I don't mean it like that," she said. "I just meant that if I have to choose between the grant and you, I choose you."

I looked away, not wanting her to see my tears. "You didn't at first."

I heard Arizona gasp slightly and I instantly regretted my words. I'm not sure why I said that. I was so glad that she was by my side, but I was still hurt that she'd left me behind. And I've always had trouble censoring my words, especially when I was on pain meds. "I-I'm sorry," I said, squeezing my left eye shut.

"No, no you're right," Arizona replied. I glanced over at her and felt my resolve crumbling at the sight of her. She had cast her gaze down to her lap. "I-I thought that it was worth it, you know?" she looked back up at me. "I mean, I saved hundreds of kids in Malawi who were dying from things as simple as dehydration and appendicitis. I was doing good. A lot of good. But when I heard that you were hurt… I-I realized how much I do need you. I guess, in the back of my head, I thought you would wait for me."

"I-"

"No, let me finish," Arizona said. "I know it wouldn't be fair to expect you to wait for me, but something inside me did. I can't explain it. When I thought you were going to… when Teddy told me that you were seriously injured, I finally realized that you may not be here when I returned. That you may not be waiting for me. Even if you… survived, you'd eventually move on and I wouldn't have you in my life any longer. I realized that I _can't_ live without you, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise. Because you, Calliope Torres, are too amazing to get over and I love you."

I didn't immediately respond, unsure of what to say. I licked my dry lips and opened my mouth to say something, but changed my mind.

Arizona took a deep breath and sniffled. She stood and stepped away. "I-I should go," she said and began to turn away.

I reacted quickly, gripping her hand tighter and preventing her from going too far. "No, don't go," I said.

She stopped, but didn't turn to face me.

"I need you," I breathed out, my voice failing. "I love you."

::*~*~*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I'd meant every word I said and had been hurt when she hadn't responded immediately. I feared that she'd already moved on. She'd already gotten over me.

When she'd stopped my from leaving, my heart had raced.

"I love you," she said. I inhaled deeply and turned around to look her in the eye.

"You do?" I asked.

She gave a slight smile at my choice of words. "I do," she said.

I stepped closer to the bed and leaned down so that my lips were a breath away from hers. "I love you, too," I said, unable to hold back the tear that rolled down my cheek. I brushed my lips against hers, careful of her injuries.

Calliope groaned in protest when I pulled back after only a few seconds, but I didn't want to hurt her.

"So, you're not going back to Africa?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I called and talked to the head of the grant committee. I explained why I had to come back and, while he wasn't happy about it, he agreed to let me work from here. Research, training, raising money, that kind of thing. I'm not leaving again."

She worried her bottom lip, something that she'd always done when she was contemplating something. "I forgive you for leaving," she said. "I did that a while ago. With Violet's help. But I still have this nagging thought that you're going to leave again. I mean, everyone leaves. Why are you different?"

I felt my heart sink. But I couldn't be mad at her for not trusting me to stick around. How would I convince her that I was in this for the long haul?

"I'm different," I started off, "because I know that you're the one I belong with. I don't know how to convince you of that, but I'm going to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove that I'm here for good. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried. I'm going to stick by you through your surgeries and the healing process. I'm going to be in the gallery on your first surgery once you're better. I'm going to watch you become famous for your cartilage from jell-o research. I'm going to be here through it all. And I know you may not trust me now, but I'm not going to leave again. Not for the Carter Madison Grant, not for any other job offer that would require me to leave you, not for anything. I've experienced life without you, Calliope, and I gotta tell you, it sucks."

That brought a smile to Calliope's lips, which made her grimace from pain. "Don't make me smile," she admonished playfully. "How do you always say the right things?"

I grinned and shrugged. "I just say what I mean," I said.

She gazed up at me. "I can't say that I'm not still scared, but I'm willing to try," she said. "I have to. Because you're right. It does suck."

I laughed and kissed her softly. Once again, she groaned when I pulled away after only a few seconds. "I can't wait until I get sprung from this joint," she said with a pout.

"Hmm, why's that?" I asked.

"So you can help wash my back in the shower."

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_

_As long as I'm laughing with you_

_I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after_

_After the life we've been through_

'_Cause I know there's no life after you_

::~::Daughtry::~::


	12. Never Let You Go

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Twelve - "Never Let You Go"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Um, I'm pretty sure I effed up the medical stuff in this, so please forgive me. I tried to research, but the pictures were too scary. =/

* * *

**Never Let You Go**

_If we find that our vision is blinded_

_We should slow down and maybe we will find it_

_Every heart just needs a little time to grow_

_If we go through a little bit of hard times_

_You should know that to fix it, it'll take time_

_Baby hold on before we start to lose control_

_What can I say? What can I do?_

_How do we change? I'm not gonna lose you_

::~::Colbie Caillat::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

I groaned in pain. "Ugh, now I know why my patients keep asking for more pain meds," I whined as Mark prodded my cheekbone to fully assess the extent of the break. I hissed him pain when he touched a particularly sensitive spot.

"Sorry," he said with sympathy. "You know how this is going to work. I'm going to make the incision here," he said, using a surgical marker to draw a half inch line on my upper cheek, about two centimeters below my eye. "Then I'll go in and repair the cheekbone with a synthetic bone graft. And since I'm Mark Sloan, you'll barely even have a scar."

I wanted to roll my eyes at his arrogance, but couldn't.

The door opened and Dr. Noble walked in. "You about ready, Torres?"

I tried to nod before remembering that my neck was encased in that damn brace. "I'm ready," I answered instead. Arizona's hand gripped mine and gave it a gentle squeeze as they rolled my hospital bed down the hallway towards the OR.

"Robbins, you know you can't be in there," Mark said softly as we approached the doors leading to the surgical hallway. No unauthorized personnel was allowed beyond the double doors.

I felt Arizona grip my hand harder. "Mark," she started.

"He's right, Dr. Robbins," Dr. Noble confirmed. "I know you want to be by her side, but I can't allow you in there. You don't have clearance here anyway."

I gripped Arizona's hand in reassurance. I knew she wanted to be there more for her own sake than mine. "Can you give us a minute?" I asked them. The two surgeons nodded and stepped away. I looked up at Arizona. "It's going to be fine," I said to her.

She sighed and leaned over to kiss me softly. "I know," she said. "But I hate waiting rooms. I hate not knowing what's going on. Especially when it's you. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said softly. She kissed me again, not letting our lips touch longer than a few seconds. I knew she was just afraid of hurting me.

She stood and gave me a small smile. "I'll see you when you get out," she said.

I squeezed her hand again. Mark and Dr. Noble reassumed their positions and pushed me through the double doors. I held on to Arizona's hand as long as possible before reluctantly letting it go.

I glanced up at Mark as the doors swung closed behind us. "Promise me you'll have her updated every half hour," I said.

He looked back towards the doors and nodded. "Of course," he agreed.

::*~*~*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I hadn't even thought of the fact that I wouldn't be able to accompany Calliope into surgery. It didn't matter that this wasn't Seattle Grace-Mercy West or that I had no clearance or that I didn't even have a pair of scrubs here.

It's obvious now. Of course I wouldn't be allowed in the OR.

But even though I realized that it wasn't a good idea for me to be there, I was still upset. I hate waiting and not knowing what's going on. That's why I make it a point to keep the families of my patients updated.

I watched as Calliope was taken through the double doors towards the OR, feeling completely helpless. This particular surgery wasn't too risky, but it was still surgery.

Mark suddenly looked back at me and nodded, as if he were relaying a message me to. I read it loud and clear. _I'll take care of her._

I nodded back and mouthed "thank you." It was probably the first time I've ever been grateful for Mark Sloan.

::6 hours later…::

"Arizona, dear, you should eat something," Maria said, placing a hand on my arm.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry," I said. Calliope's been in surgery for nearly six hours. I sat in the waiting room surrounded by friends and Calliope's family. Someone had been out every half hour like clockwork to give us an update. So far, everything had gone smoothly. Only, someone should have been out ten minutes ago to update us. Why the delay? Had they run into complications? Or did they just lose track of time?

"Please eat something," Maria insisted again. "You'll need your strength for when she's out of surgery." That's probably the one thing should could have said to get me to eat. I relented and took the cafeteria peanut better and jelly sandwich she offered.

"Thank you," I said. I bit into it and chewed, not really tasting it. Maria nodded, satisfied that I would eat, then moved to the next person.

I felt movement beside me as someone sat in the seat next to me. I glanced over to see Addison looking at me cautiously. I swallowed and took a sip of my water.

"I don't really know you all that well," Addison started off. "But you make Callie happy, so that makes me like you."

I gave a small smile.

"But then you left and she was devastated, so that made me hate you." She narrowed her eyes at me.

My smile fell and I gulped. "I-"

"But now you're back and she seems to be happy again…"

"So, you like me again?" I asked, hopeful.

"No."

I waited for her to elaborate, but she remained silent. I sighed and slumped down in my chair. "I'm a good person," I said slowly. "I am a _good_ person. But even good people make mistakes. But I'm here now. As soon as I heard that Calliope was hurt, I did everything humanly possible to get here as quickly as I could."

"I don't doubt that you're a good person," Addison interjected. "But I can't stop remembering how broken she was when you left." I looked away, wondering why she was saying this now, of all times. I chewed on the edge of my thumbnail.

"I'm not saying that I hate you or that I'm not happy you're back," Addison said slowly. "Even though she's been lying in a hospital bed since she woke up yesterday with an abundance of horrible injuries, I can already tell that she's in a much better place than before the accident. And for that, I appreciate you. Only, I know the power you hold over her. You realize her heart is in your hands and I can't stand to see her hurt again."

I returned my gaze to Addison's. "Are you giving me the 'if you hurt her, I'll come after you' speech?" I asked, a little amused. It was obvious Addison cared deeply for Calliope.

"Basically, yes," she responded, voice steady and challenging.

I didn't waver. "I respect you for trying to protect her," I said. "And I'm grateful that you were here to catch her. But I don't make the same mistake twice."

Addison studied me for a moment before nodding. "Okay," she said. "As long as we're on the same page, I like you now."

I gave her a small smile and a nod. "I like you, too." I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was twenty minutes past the last half hour mark. What the hell was going on?

"I'm sure she's fine," Addison reassured me, noticing me glancing at the clock.

"Someone should have updated us twenty minutes ago," I said. I looked back at her.

Addison looked past my shoulder. "There's Mark now," she said, pointing. I turned to see Mark walking quickly towards us, scrub cap in hand. I stood and rushed over to him, Addison and the others hot on my trail.

"How is she? Is she out of surgery?"

"Whoa, whoa," Mark said, gripping my shoulders in an effort to calm me down. "She's stable. I just finished the repairs to her cheekbone. Dr. Noble is still working on her leg, but things are going smoothly."

I relaxed me shoulders and let Mark envelop me in a hug. "She'll be just fine," I heard him say.

I suddenly tensed and stepped back. I reared back and punched his shoulder.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he cried out.

"Oh, I didn't hit you that hard," I retorted. "You were supposed to keep me updated! I kept thinking the worst when no one came out to tell us what was going on." I went to hit him again. He stepped out of the way just in time, capturing my swinging hand in his grip.

"Robbins, calm down," he said. "I'm sorry. Time slipped away from me, okay? You know how it is when you're in the OR and you're in the zone."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but relented. I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said. "Sorry."

He let go of my hand and stepped back. "You pack quite a punch," he said, rolling up the sleeve of his scrubs and inspecting the area.

"Marine brat," I reminded him. "My father taught me how defend myself."

"Remind me never to piss you off again," Mark muttered and turned to sit in a waiting room chair. "Dr. Noble predicted another hour or so."

::*~*~*::

_[Callie's POV]_

Groggy. That was how I felt. And nauseous.

Ugh. Why did my face hurt?

I blinked opened my eyes-eye-and looked around.

Oh, right. I was in the hospital. And I'd just undergone surgery. Where was Arizona?

I whimpered a bit when I tried to move and she suddenly appeared. "Hey, sleepyhead," she greeted me. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," I replied, voice scratchy. "And thirsty," I slurred.

"Here," Arizona said, pouring a cup of water and holding the straw up to my parched lips. "Better?" she asked after I'd taken a few sips.

"Much," I said. "Surgery?" I asked, wanting to know how it had gone.

"Mark was able to fully repair your cheekbone," she said. "We won't know about your vision until you can take the bandages off, but he said it didn't appear to have messed with your optic nerve. Dr. Noble said the surgery on your leg went even better than she expected. She's confident that with physical therapy, you'll be almost one hundred per cent in no time."

"Thank God," I whispered, a tear rolling down my temple into my hair. Arizona leaned over and wiped it away, placing a kiss on my forehead.

Some people, a lot of people, get really angry after an accident that leaves them seriously injured like I was. And I can fully understand that. They suddenly can't function like they used to. They're scared that they'll never be able to do those things again. But I'm not angry. I was scared, yes, but not angry.

How could I be angry when the thing that put me in this position-the car accident-was the thing that brought Arizona back to me?

Dr. Noble knocked softly on the door before entering. She smiled when she saw that I was awake. "Did Dr. Robbins tell you the good news?"

"Yes, ma'am," I answered. "And I'm ready to begin as soon as possible. I want to get back to work."

Dr. Noble chuckled. "That's what I like to hear," she said. "It's going to be a while before you can start therapy, though. You know that. It's probable I'll need to go back in in a few weeks to make some minor fixes. Then you have to wait for the swelling to go down and the wound to heal properly. Patience is a virtue, Torres."

I grumbled slightly. "When can I go home?" I asked her, anxious to get out of the hospital.

Dr. Noble looked over my charts. "I want to keep you for observation for a few more days," she said. "And until we can see about your vision. I'd say plan on being discharged on Friday."

It was only Tuesday.

I groaned.

"I know, I know," Dr. Noble said. "You want to get out of here. But we'd rather be safe than sorry. Right?"

"Right," Arizona agreed with a sharp nod.

Dr. Noble smiled and looked pointedly at me. "You've got a smart one there," she said. "Don't let her go."

I took hold of Arizona's hand and gripped it tightly. "I don't plan to."

_If the world stops turning_

_If the sun stops burning_

_If the cold wind starts to blow_

_I wanna let you know, oh, I'll never let you go_

_When you feel like breaking_

_When you heart keeps waiting_

_When the tears begin to flow_

_I wanna let you know, oh, I'll never let you go_

::~::Colbie Caillat::~::


	13. Home

**Title: **Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Thirteen - Home

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** PG-13 [for now]

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Um, I'm pretty sure I effed up the medical stuff in this, so please forgive me. I tried to research, but the pictures were too scary. =/

* * *

**Home**

_I'm staring out into the night_

_Trying to hide the pain_

_I'm going to the place where love_

_And feeling good don't ever cost a thing_

_And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain_

::~::Daughtry::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

I eyed the wheelchair with distain.

"You know this is a fight you're going to lose, so just sit down, Calliope," Arizona said as she stood behind the chair, a hunt of amusement on her face.

I sighed and carefully turned to sit, Mark helping me so I didn't fall. It was finally Friday and Dr. Noble had finally signed my discharge papers.

The neck brace had been removed the previous day and, while my neck was still sore from being immobilized for so long, it felt great to be able to turn my head again. I just had to be careful and not make any sudden movements.

My right arm was still in a cast, but it was just a hairline fracture that should heal in another two weeks or so.

"Let's get you home," Arizona said as she pushed me out of the door. Mark followed, carrying the duffel bag full of my things.

"Calliope, are you sure you don't need us to stay?" my mother asked as everyone gathered around the car after I'd been helped into the passenger seat.

I smiled at my mother. It no longer hurt to smile. "I'm sure," I said. "I love you, but Arizona's already coddling me enough as it is. I'm going to be fine, mama."

She leaned down through the open window. "Te amo, mija," she said while kissing my cheek.

"Te amo tambien, mamá," I responded.

I was grateful once the goodbyes were done and Arizona and I were on the way to my apartment. Mark had offered to drive Callie's family to the airport.

"I'm warning you," I said to Arizona as we entered the elevator of my apartment building, Arizona pushing me in the wheelchair. "I have no idea what condition I left my apartment in."

Arizona chuckled. "So, there could be moldy dishes in the sink and dirty clothes on the floor?" she asked.

"That's a definite possibility," I answered. "Second door on the left," I said, pointing to my apartment. "My keys should be in the bag of my stuff that they gave us at the hospital," I said, referring to the clear plastic bag of my things, including everything I'd been wearing the day of the accident that hadn't been ruined-so mainly jewelry and my watch-and my keys, which someone had thankfully plucked from the ignition of my now totaled car.

Arizona ruffled through the duffel bag, extracting the plastic bag, then my keys. She unlocked and opened the door, pushing me through it. I grimaced when I saw the sight before me. It could be worse-it appears that I didn't leave any dirty dishes in the sink and the trash didn't smell-but there was a pile of tissues on the coffee table, another on the kitchen table and, I'm sure, there would be another on my bedside stand. Other than the tissues, I'd left the place relatively neat save several medical books and journals piled on the floor next to the couch and a few empty cartons of Chinese take out on the kitchen table.

"I, ah, had a cold," I lied when Arizona indicated one of the piles of tissues. I knew she knew I was lying, but she didn't say anything. She just grabbed the trash can and threw them away, along with the empty cartons.

"Do you want to lie down?" Arizona asked gently.

I didn't really want to. I've been lying down for two weeks. But I was tired. I nodded. "The bedroom is through that door," I said, pointing to said door. Arizona pushed me through the door and helped me into the bed. She placed a pillow under my injured leg and leaned over to kiss my forehead.

I grabbed her hand as she moved to leave. "Stay with me for a while?" I asked.

Arizona smiled. She pulled a chair to my bedside and started to sit.

"No, here," I said, patting the bed with my uninjured arm. "Lay with me."

"I don't want to hurt you," Arizona said cautiously.

"This is my good side," I said, indicating the relatively uninjured left side of my body.

Arizona relented, taking a moment to toe off her shoes before rounding the bed and crawling under the covers on my left side. She curled up next to me, cautiously, carefully. I knew she was afraid of hurting me. I curled my left arm around her shoulders and guided her head to my left shoulder, inhaling her scent. Her right arm immediately, but still carefully, wrapped across my stomach.

Arizona hummed in pleasure. "You feel so good," she whispered. A tear rolled down her cheek. "I missed this."

"So did I," I said. "I missed you."

"I love you, Calliope."

"I love you, Arizona."

::*~*~*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I awoke slowly, feeling warm and safe, something I haven't felt for months. I lazily opened my eyes and smiled when I realized why I felt so warm and safe. I was in Calliope's bed, curled up beside her.

I listened to her even breathing, telling me she was still asleep. I slowly extricated myself from the bed, not wanting to wake her. She needed her rest.

I ventured out into the living room, taking in the unfamiliar apartment. The walls were a light cream color. I wondered briefly if they'd been that when Calliope had moved in or if she'd pained them that herself.

I set out to do a bit of cleaning, tidying the living room and kitchen. I walked to the front door and picked up the forgotten duffle bag by the door. I set it on the kitchen table and pulled the plastic bag of Calliope's belongings out, setting it beside the duffle bag on the table.

A glint of silver caught my attention and I studied the bag closely. Intrigued, I opened the bag and reaching inside to pull the piece of jewelry out. I nearly dropped it in shock when I realized what it was.

The white gold heart necklace I'd given her for Valentine's Day.

I felt tears prick my eyes. She'd been wearing the necklace the day of the accident. I wondered if she'd always worn it.

A sudden thought occurred to me and I jogged to the front hallway to grab my purse. Opening it quickly, I dug out the small box residing at the bottom and opened it, a smile tugging across my lips as I touched the small gold heart pendant and delicate chain. I lifted the necklace from the box and studied it in the light. I hadn't been able to bring myself to get rid of it and I'm glad I hadn't.

I brought the pendant to my lips and pressed a kiss against it, the metal cool against my lips.

"Arizona?" came Calliope's voice from the bedroom.

I quickly brought the necklace to my neck as I walked towards the bedroom, clasping it around my neck. I grabbed Calliope's necklace as I passed by the table.

"I'm here," I said as I entered the room to find Calliope struggling to sit up in the bed. It was obvious from the expression on her face that she was in a great deal of pain. I walked to the side of the bed and helped her into a sitting position. "You okay?" I asked tenderly.

She nodded slightly. "I'm just tired of sleeping," she said in a grumpy voice.

"You need your rest right now," I said.

"I can rest out in the living room," she replied. "I can't sleep any more. Or lay on my back. Please?"

I nodded, but stopped her when she moved to stand. "Just a minute. Something's missing."

She gave me a questioning look. "What?"

I grinned. "Close your eyes," I insisted.

"Don't you mean 'close your eye'?" she chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Please?" I asked, giving her my best 'puppy dog look' that never failed to get her to do what I asked of her.

She sighed. "Fine," she grumbled and did as I asked. I moved behind her on the bed and brought the white gold necklace to her neck, moving her hair aside to clasp it. "There," I whispered into her ear.

Calliope opened her eye and glanced at herself in the dresser mirror only a few feet away. She brought her uninjured hand up to her throat and brushed her fingertips across the heart pendant, a tear rolling down her cheek. I moved to the right a bit to allow her to see that I wore my necklace as well.

"Back where they belong," I said softly. "Back where _we_ belong."

_So I'm going home_

_Back to the place where I belong_

_And where your love _

_has always been enough for me_

_I'm not running from_

_No, I think you've got me all wrong_

_I don't regret this life I chose for me_

_But these places and these faces are getting old_

_So I'm going home_

::~::Daughtry::~::

* * *

**Author's Note**: Sorry this is so short. I'm in the middle of finals for my college classes, so I haven't had much time to write. =/ Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Be forewarned, the next chapter may have a bit of drama… That or I'm going to have to change the rating to NC-17. Haven't decided yet. ;)


	14. Speechless

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Fourteen - "Speechless" - The Final Chapter

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona, Callie/Addison (friendship)

**Rating:** NC-17 (PLEASE NOTE RATING CHANGE!)

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. I was going to go for drama, but most of you (er, all of you) voted for fluff and a rating change instead, citing the fact that there's already enough drama on the show as it is. I concur. So, enjoy the new rating. ;)

* * *

**Speechless**

_Feels like I have always known you_

_And I swear I dreamt about you _

_All those endless nights I was alone_

_It's like I've spent forever searching_

_And now I know that it was worth it_

_With you it feels like I am finally home_

_Falling head over heels_

_Thought I knew how it feels_

_But with you it's like the first day of my life_

::~::The Veronicas::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

I woke slowly, feeling a pressure on my uninjured side. I opened my eyes, squinting in the brightness of the sunlight streaming through the window. I grinned when I saw that the weight was Arizona, curled against my side as she laid her head on my shoulder, sound asleep.

As much as I hated to disturb her, my bladder screamed for my attention. "Arizona," I said softly, nudging my shoulder slightly.

She mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep before letting out a soft snore.

"Arizona, your pager's going off," I lied. That did the trick. She sat up and was already reaching for her jeans when she remembered that she wasn't actually a surgeon here in LA. She turned back to me, hands on her hips, glaring at me.

I couldn't hold back my laughter, which made my bladder hurt even more. I moved to get out of the bed and make my way into the bathroom. I was reaching for my crutches when Arizona reached my side and helped me to stand.

"That was a dirty trick," she said.

"But it worked," I pointed out. "I had to pee but you wouldn't wake up."

She rolled her eyes and helped me into the bathroom before stating that she was going to go start some coffee.

I've been out of the hospital for two weeks and I already feel a lot better. Mark had deemed my cheekbone healed and, thank God, my vision was fine. It had been a bit blurry at first, but it was back to normal now. My arm didn't hurt nearly as much and my ribs had healed. My leg was still giving me issues, but that was to be expected. I had another appointment with Dr. Noble in a week to reassess and see if another surgery was needed.

The past two weeks have been incredible, despite the pain I've been in. Arizona was a wonderful nurse. No wonder her patients love her. She understood when I was cranky and knew just how to deal with me then. I admit to being kind of mean when I'm cranky, but she'd never been fazed.

I'm amazed at how quickly we'd become so comfortable with each other again. There had been a few moments of awkwardness at first, like when she'd given me sponge baths or had to help me change clothes. But all that awkwardness had disappeared quickly.

But we haven't had sex since her return.

I hobbled out to the kitchen on my crutches to find Arizona yawning as she poured a cup of coffee. She set a mug in front of me as I carefully lowered myself into the chair. "Thanks," I said, taking a sip.

"I need to go to the grocery store," Arizona said as she sat across from me. "Your cupboards are pretty bare."

"I'll go with you," I said, hoping she'd just go with it.

"Oh, no you aren't," she said without skipping a beat. "You need to stay here and rest."

I rolled my eyes—yes, both of them—and sighed. "Arizona, all I've been doing is resting," I whined. "I have the worst cabin fever. The only time I've left this apartment in the past two weeks is when I had that apointment at the hospital. I need to get out for a bit." I said that last part pleadingly, as if willing her to acquiess.

She studied me, but finally nodded. "Alright, fine, but you're using one of those powered wheelchair things the store provides."

"Arizona," I started to protest.

"Take it or leave it," she said, standing to retreat to the bedroom to change.

"Fine," I grumbled, following her slowly.

We quickly dressed and made our way to her rental car. The fresh air filled my lungs, refreshing me. Granted, it was LA's version of fresh air, but it was better than the stuffy apartment air.

"Calliope Torres, you better sit down!" Arizona scolded a bit later when we were in the grocery store. Arizona had been reaching for something on the top shelf, but it was just out of her reach. I'd stood to get it.

I grasped the box of pasta and stuck out my tongue at her before sitting back down and chucking it into the metal cart.

I heard Arizona mumble something to herself as she grabbed a can of tomato sauce.

I loved grocery shopping with Arizona. I always have. There's something so… _domestic_ about it. It's the kind of thing that gives me warm fuzzies inside. Even if I had to ride in a damn wheelchair while doing it.

Arizona banned me from the kitchen when we arrived back at the apartment, claiming that I would have only tried to help put groceries away in the high cabinets. She had a point.

I sulked in the living room, hating how useless I was feeling.

I also felt grungy. No matter how amazing Arizona's sponge baths are, there's nothing like a hot shower on sore, stiff muscles.

Arizona returned from the kitchen and sat next to me on the couch.

"I want to take a shower," I pouted, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"I can give you a sponge bath," she suggested. "Maybe help you wash your hair in the sink."

I shook my head. "You should help me wash my hair in the _shower_," I reiterated.

"Calliope, your leg—"

"Can be properly covered so the brace doesn't get wet," I supplied. "I'm an orthopedic surgeon."

"But you can't put any weight on it and there's nothing to hold onto in your shower."

"Which is why you should join me," I said in my best seductive voice. I _really _wanted a shower. And the fact that Arizona would be in there with me, naked and wet, was only the French vanilla icing with sprinkles on the cake. "Please, Arizona? I feel gross. You know how I hate to feel sweaty and gross."

She rolled her eyes but stood. "Fine," she said, holding out her hand. I grinned broadly and took it.

In the bathroom, things got a bit awkward again. She's seen me naked in the past two weeks on numerous occasions, but it had always been innocent. And she'd never been naked with me. Actually, there'd been no reason for me to see her naked these past two weeks, so I haven't.

So when she pulled her shirt off over her head and her fingers moved to the button of her jeans, I found myself staring, licking my lips in anticipation. I reached out from where I sat on the closed lid of the commode and stopped her fingers.

"Let me," I said. Her hands dropped away and I unfastened the button, then pulled down the zipper, loving the hissing sound. She had to help me push the tight denim down her legs, but soon, she was standing in front of me in only her light pink lacy bra and matching bikini panties.

I grinned and settled my uninjured hand on her hip, guiding her to stand directly in front of me. I leaned forward and placed my lips against the soft skin of her abdomen, just below her bellybutton.

"Calliope," she sighed out. "This is supposed to be shower time, not sexy time."

I looked up at her. "Why can't it be both?" I asked. I tugged at her panties with my good hand, grinning when I succeeded in removing them one-handed. I placed more feather-light kisses along her abdomen until I reached her hipbone, tracing the slightly protruding bone with my tongue.

Arizona groaned softly, threading her fingers into my hair. "Calliope, shower."

I chuckeld slightly, but stood when she helped me. After shedding the rest of our clothes and making sure my leg brace and arm cast were protected from the water, she helped me into the shower stall to stand under the hot spray of the water. I moaned in the sheer exquisitness of the water cascading over my aching body.

Arizona stepped in after me, closing the shower door behind her. It felt really good to take a shower, to wash off the grit that the sponge baths had missed. We attacked my hair first, lathering the newly shorn locks with shampoo, then conditioner. My head had been covered when Arizona had first come to my hospital room, so she'd been surprised when the bandages had been removed to find that I'd cut my hair. But she's said she liked it. Her exact words? "You look really pretty."

I groaned in pleasure as Arizona ran the coconut-scented bodysoap-covered loofa over my front. My pleasure was two-fold: the pleasure of finally being clean and the pleasure of Arizona touching me in ways that I've only been dreaming about lately.

I noticed Arizona grin at my groan, just as she moved the loofa over my over-sensitive breast. The loofa grazed my nipple. It pebbled in response. Arizona's grin broadened, but she moved on to finish cleansing me.

When all the soap had finally been rinsed away, I couldn't take it anymore. I gripped Arizona's upper arm and pulled her to stand in front of me, so close but not quite touching.

"Kiss me."

::~*~*~*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I knew that Calliope had used the shower as an excuse to try and get me to make love with her. I was so close to caving, but I still had reservations.

My hesitation wasn't because I didn't want her or because I was upset with her. No, my hesitation was only because I was afraid of hurting her. This would be our first time making love since we got back together. I wanted it to be perfect. I didn't want to ruin it by accidentally hitting her leg or worrying about hitting her leg. She deserved better.

But when she asked me to kiss her in that sexy voice, her pupils dilated with arousal, I felt my reservations crumbling. How could I deny her anything?

I stood on tiptoe and pressed my lips to hers, gentle at first, but she wrapped an arm arouns my waist and pulled me flush against her, our equally naked and wet bodies coming into contact. We both moaned softly in pleasure of feeling one another.

The kiss heated immediately upon feeling her breasts pressed against mine. Our tongues tangled, battling for control. I placed one hand on her hip, supporting her, and my other traveled up her side, grazing the side of her breast.

My arm made contact with the hard cast on her arm covered in plastic and I was pulled back into reality. I pulled away from the kiss and stepped back, breaking the contact between us. Calliope whimpered in protest.

I reached behind her and turned off the water, which had begun to cool anyway.

"Arizona," Calliope pouted. I silenced her with another kiss, this one brief and full of tenderness and promises.

I reached out and grabbed a towel, quickly drying myself off before drying Calliope off. I helped her out of the shower stall, quickly removing the stuff we'd wrapped around her arm and leg to keep her cast and brace dry. Then I led her into the bedroom.

I guided her to lay back on the bed, grabbing a pillow to support her leg. Calliope couldn't keep her hands to herself while I made sure she was comfortable. Finally satisfied that she was as protected against accidential pain as possible, I moved to her uninjured side and stretched out next to her.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered. I traced her temple and cheek, brushing my fingertips over the fresh scar marring her perfection, finding beauty in her imperfection.

"You won't," she responded, trying to pull me to her. I resisted.

"I might," I said. "By accident. I need you to promise me that you'll stop me if I'm doing something that hurts."

She softened and cupped my cheek. "I promise."

I leaned down and kissed her softly, teasingly. She tried to lift her head to press her lips more fully against mine, but I pulled back slightly, a grin on my lips. "Patience, Calliope. Patience."

She groaned in frustration, but it turned into a moan as I placed my hand low on her stomach, splaying my fingers so that my pinky just barely grazed the top of her mound. I glided my hand up to cup a perfectly formed breast, teasing the tip with my thumb.

"I love how responsive you are," I whispered into her ear as her nipple hardened. I captured the sensitive tip between my thumb and forefinger, causing her to groan.

"Close your eyes," I whispered. She looked at me questioningly. "Close them. Just feel." She closed them, taking a deep breath. I gripped her uninjured hand and pulled it up above her head. "Don't move," I ordered. I saw her swallow, but she nodded slightly.

I leaned down and pressed my lips fully against hers this time, nudging her lips apart with my insistant tongue, swallowing her hum of pleasure. I returned my hand to her breast, caressing gently, but firmly. I broke the kiss to move down and take the still hardened tip of her breast between my lips.

"Arizona," she gasped, sending chills down my spine. I loved the sound of my name rolling off her tongue when she was aroused. Her voice gets low and raspy, the sexiest thing I've ever heard, by far.

I stayed to the side of her, avoiding her right side so I didn't bump into her accidentally, as I moved down, my lips and tongue following my fingertips as they coasted over her ribs, stomach, abdomen…

I dipped my tongue into her naval, teasing her.

"Arizona, please," she groaned out, her hips already pressing forward.

As much as I wanted to tease her, I was only teasing myself by doing so, driving myself insane in the process. So I stopped my torture and brought my hand to where I knew she wanted it, gliding it effortlessly up the inside of her left thigh until I came into contact with her heated core.

She groaned when I covered her with my entire hand, pressing against her outer labia. I could already feel her arousal against my fingers. I pressed a finger into her as my lips surrounded her clit, teasing it with my tongue.

"Oh, God," I heard Calliope groan. She tunneled her fingers though my hair and I nearly stopped to scold her for moving, but I couldn't pull away. I'd missed this. Missed tasting her with my lips and tongue, missed giving her pleasure, missed hearing her moans. I'd missed _her_.

I knew it wouldn't take much to make her come this first time, so I didn't try and tease her again. Instead, I thrust two fingers into her in a steady rhythm, my tongue matching the pace against her clit.

Calliope's fingers tightened in my hair as she thrust her hips forward. I glanced up to see that her head was thrown back, pushing her breasts out.

I wrapped my lips around her clit and sucked, knowing that's all it would take to send her over the edge. I felt her tense and her fingers tightened even more, almost painfully. My fingers were trapped inside her as her muscles spasmed from the impact of her orgasm. She cried out my name on a long, low groan, nearly making me come at the sound of it.

I sipped at her juices until she'd stilled, breathing heavily from the exhertion of her orgasm. I gave her clit one last nudge with my tongue before kissing my way up her abdomen and stomach, removing my fingers from her at the same time. She groaned in protest as I slid my fingers slowly from her.

I grinned as my lips hovered over her own lips. Her fingers were still threaded through my hair and she pulled me to her so that our lips met with fervor, her tongue demanding entrance. I'd learned early on, from the first time we'd had sex, that Calliope loved the taste of herself on my lips and tongue.

I returned the kiss briefly before pulling back and staring down at her. "I love you," I said softly.

She brought me to her again, out lips brushing.

"I love you, too," she whispered, eyes shining with that very emotion. "I'm so glad you're home."

I felt a huge smile spread across my lips at her words. _Home_. She was right. I was home. Here, in her arms, I was home.

'_Cause you leave me speechless_

_When you talk to me_

_You leave me breathless_

_The way you look at me_

_You manage to disarm me_

_My soul is shining through_

_Can't help but surrender_

_My everything to you_

::~::The Veronicas::~::

* * *

**Author's Note**: Um, so this is the last chapter. : ) I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I already have ideas for a "tying up the loose ends" epilogue if enough people want it… So, what's the verdict? Epiloge or no? =p


	15. Epilogue  Because You Loved Me

**Title:** Breaking at the Cracks

**Chapter: **Epilogue - "Because You Loved Me"

**Author: **laurenxx3 (iheartcallietorres on ff)

**Pairing: **Callie/Arizona

**Rating:** NC-17

**Summary:** Callie's devastated after Arizona leaves for Africa and now has no job, no place to live and no prospect of either. Addison comes to the rescue and whisks her away to California.

**Disclaimer: **You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

**A/N: **I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any, but I'm pretty OCD about grammar and spelling, so there shouldn't be too many mistakes. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).

**A/N 2:** This starts off after 7x07 and will NOT follow the events past that, except for maybe a few small things. I will *not* include spoilers for future episodes. Hopefully, this ties up all the loose ends and makes y'all happy. Also, it's super long, just to placate y'all who are sad to see it end. : )

* * *

**Because You Loved Me**

_For all those times you stood by me_

_For all the truth that you made me see_

_For all the joy you brought to my life_

_For all the wrong that you made right_

_For every dream you made come true_

_For all the love I've found in you_

_I'll be forever thankful baby_

_You're the one that held me up_

_Never let me fall_

_You're the one who saw me through_

_Through it all_

::~::Celine Dion::~::

_[Callie's POV]_

"We're glad to have you both back," Chief Webber said, shaking both mine and Arizona's hands.

We sat in his office at Seattle Grace-Mercy West having discussed being re-hired for our old jobs. Chief Webber had been obviously grateful to see Arizona back. Apparently, Stark hadn't made a great impression on him. And he also seemed genuinely glad to see me back as well, even though I wouldn't be able to work for several more months yet. He'd promised that a job would be waiting for me when I was fully recovered from my injuries.

"I'm glad to see you're doing okay, Dr. Torres," he said as he led us out of his office. My arm having been deemed fully recovered three weeks ago, I was now moving freely about with crutches. I never wanted to have to sit in a wheelchair again.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm feeling a lot better." And I was.

Chief Webber nodded and turned to Arizona. "I'll see you on Monday morning," he said. "8:00 sharp."

Arizona smiled broadly and nodded. "I'll be here," she said. We made our way slowly to the elevators to exit the hospital. Now that we were guaranteed jobs here in Seattle, we needed to find a place to live.

After weeks of living in LA and nursing me back to health, Arizona had brought up Seattle, asking if I wanted to stay there in LA or return to Seattle. She claimed that it didn't matter to her, but I knew she wanted to come back to Seattle. I did too. This was our home, where we'd met and fallen in love. It had been a no-brainer.

So after I'd healed enough to travel, we'd flown out to Seattle for two reasons; to see about getting jobs at SGMW and to see our old friends. Teddy and Mark had met us at the airport, huge smiled on their faces. Then we'd immediately headed to Joe's where a crowd of our friends and former colleagues had been waiting for us. We'd celebrated late into the night until exhaustion from being up so early to catch our flight had overcome both Arizona and I, and we'd checked into the Archfield Hotel.

But now that we had our jobs back, we needed a real place to live. I've called the Archfield home way too many times.

"I wonder if there are any apartments available in our old building," Arizona mused as we rode down in the elevator.

I glanced at her, rolling my lips inward, debating.

"What?" she asked, seeing my hesitation.

"Well, I was just thinking… what if we looked for a house?"

She tilted her head slightly. "A house? As in a mortgage?"

I shrugged slightly. "It was just a thought. I'm kind of tired of living in an apartment with noisy neighbors. It doesn't have to be a mortgage. We could rent something. But if you're not feeling the idea…" I trailed off, trying not to let my disappointment show. I know buying a house, or even renting one, was a huge step, but I felt more than ready to take that step. I'd been hoping she was too.

"Calliope, look at me," Arizona demanded. I did and was surprised to see a huge smile on her face, dimples out in full force. She stepped closer to stand directly in front of me. I was hunched over my crutches, making us the same height. She placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed me softly. "I would love to buy a house with you," she said when she pulled away.

::*::*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

When Calliope and I decided to do something, we don't waste any time. We'd immediately made our way to a local real estate office to look for houses and, two weeks later, we were moving in to our dream home. In a quiet neighborhood about ten minutes away from the hospital with a large back yard, there was room to build an in-ground pool if we decided to do so. The house wasn't overly large; two stories with three bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms, a small office/library and a finished basement. It was a perfect family home.

Yes, I said family. As in kids. Not now. But in the future. I saw kids in our future.

The idea of kids still scared me beyond belief, but I knew I could do anything with my Calliope by my side.

"Ugh, I hate moving," Calliope groaned as she carefully lowered herself to the floor of our living room to open another box.

I huffed as I set a heavy box down on the floor a few feet away. I stood facing her, hands on my hips as I glared down at her. "You haven't even been doing the heavy lifting," I pointed out as Mark entered the room with another box, followed by Teddy, Lexie and Owen.

"I'm injured," Calliope mumbled as she pulled out DVD's and arranged them on the shelves of the entertainment center.

I rolled my eyes and turned to face our helpers. "Is that the last of them?" I asked, indicating the boxes they'd brought in.

"Yep," Lexie answered with a smile. "Everything from the van."

I nodded. "Thanks again, you guys," I said. "We'll have to have you all over once we get the place unpacked and organized."

Once they'd left and it was just Calliope and I in our house (_our house!_), I walked over to where Calliope sat on the floor and fell to my knees behind her, placing my chin on her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her.

"Hmm," Calliope hummed, leaning back into me. "Home sweet home," she said softly.

I turned my head and placed soft kisses up the side of her neck, nibbling her ear. "Home," I repeated, loving the sound of it on my lips. Calliope tilted her head to allow me better access to her neck. "You know, we can't really call it our home until we christen it," I spoke softly into her ear as I continued to nibble on the shell. I moved my hand up to cup her breast, feeling the weight of it in my hand.

Calliope sucked in a quick breath and arched her back, pressing her breast into my hand. "Hmm, christen," she repeated, eyes closed. "I like the sound of that. But we haven't put the sheets on the bed yet."

I moved out from behind her, coming around to face her and very carefully straddling her hips. I pressed her back onto the plush carpet and hovered over her, a seductive grin teasing across my lips. "Who said anything about a bed, Calliope?" I asked, brushing my lips across hers ever so slightly. She groaned softly. "That's the beauty of having our own place. No one to interrupt us."

Calliope reached a hand up and threaded her fingers in my hair, pulling me down to kiss her. I pressed my hips into hers as our tongues caressed and our hands pulled at clothes. I needed her. Now.

We still had to be very careful of Calliope's leg, but we'd mastered that in the past few weeks. In no time, we were both wearing only our panties and I was lying on top of her, relishing the feel of our bare breasts pressing against one another. I let my lips hover over hers as I started into her warm brown eyes. I reached up to caress her cheek, letting my fingers trail over the fading scar.

I felt tears burn my sinuses before one escaped to roll down my cheek.

Calliope's expression turned to one of worry. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

I sniffled and wiped the tear away. "I was so scared," I said, burying my face in her neck. I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, holding me close. "When I got that message, I was so scared I'd never see you again. That I'd never get to tell you how much I love you and how much I missed you and needed you."

Calliope shifted under me, guiding me to roll on my side next to her as she carefully turned to face me, never loosening her hold on me. She pulled back slightly to look at me. "I'm here," she said. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm okay." She wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead gently.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

I took a deep breath and cupped her cheek. "For leaving. For not coming back until you got hurt even though I wanted nothing more than to come back. For not calling you. For… everything. I'm sorry."

::*::*::*::

_[Callie's POV]_

I held her as she cried, not knowing what to say to that. I could only think of one thing to say. "I love you."

She sniffled loudly, but smiled. "I love you, too, Calliope. You know that, right?"

I nodded. "I never doubted it," I said. "I promise." I kissed her softly, pouring my heart into the kiss. She did the same.

Soon, we seemed to both realize that we were practically naked and our libidos got the better of us. Arizona grinned as she rolled me once again onto my back and quickly divested us both of our panties. She steeled herself on top of me, interlocking our legs so that our centers met.

Her lips covered mine in a fiery kiss just as our centers met, causing us both gasp and increase the pace of our thrusts. I locked my fingers in her hair, holding her to me as our lower bodies writhed.

Arizona flattened one hand on my lower stomach, moving it down to allow her finger to circle my clit.

"Fuck!" I gasped and my head rolled back, causing our lips to part. Arizona buried her face in my neck, attacking my pulse point with her lips, tongue and teeth. She was sure to leave a mark, but I didn't care. I wanted her to brand me.

Feeling myself about to come, I mirrored Arizona's action, moving one hand down her flat stomach to allow my fingers to tease her clit.

Arizona whimpered and thrust her hips even harder against me. She gently bit down on my neck and pressed hard against my overly sensitive clit. That was all it took for me to come, my every muscle tensing with the release.

"Calliope!" Arizona cried out, arching her back as she followed me into oblivion. Her entire body went limp, covering mine as we lay there in complete satisfaction, both too out of breath to speak.

My eyes were closed as I lay there under her, my every sense in overdrive as I let my fingers trail her spine, tracing every dip. The air smelled of our mixed arousal, making me, if possible, even more turned on. I tried to shift in order to roll on top of her before remembering to be careful of my leg, accidentally twisting it the wrong way in the process.

I cursed loudly, grimacing in pain.

"Are you okay?" Arizona asked, quickly lifting herself off of me and scrambling to check out my leg.

"I'm okay," I assured her. "Just moved it the wrong way. I'm good now."

She looked up at me, not totally convinced. "Are you sure? Do you need me to get you some pain meds?"

"Arizona, I'm fine, really," I insisted as I sat up. The motion made me realize how much my back and shoulders hurt, though. Probably from sitting on the floor unpacking boxes all day. I winced again.

"You're not okay!" Arizona cried. She stood and started to make her way out of the room to get the medicine.

I quickly grabbed her arm to stop her. "It's not my leg," I said. "My shoulders and back hurt a little from sitting on the floor all day."

She thought for a moment, then reached down. "Come on," she said, taking my hands in hers and pulling me to a standing position. She handed me my crutches.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I watched her exit the room, still completely naked.

"Bedroom," she said, entering the downstairs bedroom. The master suite was upstairs, but we'd decided to make the bedroom on the main floor ours until I was well enough to regularly go up and down the stairs to the second level.

I followed Arizona, curious. When I got to the room, the sheets had been placed on the bed and she was searching through boxes labeled 'toiletries.' She glanced up as I entered the room. "Lay on the bed," she said.

"Why?" I asked, suspicious.

"I'm going to give you a massage," she said with a grin. She pulled out my favorite lotion and walked over to me. "Lay on your stomach."

She helped me to do just that, then she straddled my hips. I felt her wet center pressed against my lower back and I groaned.

She began to rub the coconut and shea butter lotion onto my shoulders. I groaned again at the sheer pleasure of her hands kneading my tired muscles. "You have magic hands," I said, my voice laced with ecstasy.

"I know," was all she said as she squeezed out more lotion to rub into my lower back and sides.

I was nearly asleep when she finally finished, closing the cap of the lotion bottle and setting it on the night stand. She rolled to lay next to me, kissing my temple. "Feel better?" she asked.

"Hmm," I hummed, opening one lazy eye. "Much." Arizona pulled the top sheet over us and curled into my side.

We lay there in silence, just enjoying one another, when a sudden, annoying thought popped into my head. The same one that's plagued me since my accident and Arizona's return. I didn't want to ask for fear of her reply, but also really wanted to know. It was eating me inside out.

Arizona must have sensed that something was on my mind because she leaned forward and kissed my nose gently. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Umm, nothing," I said, attempting to sound cheerful.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Liar," she said. "What is it?"

I bit my lip in hesitation, then sighed as I rolled onto my back. I glanced out the window at the quickly fading daylight. Arizona sat up and looked down at me.

"Please tell me?"

I sat up and held the sheet to my chest. I studied her intently. "I just… I can't help but wonder…" I trailed off.

"What?"

"I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been in that accident," I finally said. "I mean, that's why you came home, isn't it? Would you have come home if I hadn't been hurt?"

::*::*::*::

_[Arizona's POV]_

I had known that Calliope would ask me that question sooner or later. I'd been hoping for later so I could think of a good way to answer it. Because, truth is, I had no idea.

I sighed and leaned down to kiss her softly. "I love you," I said. "And I missed you like crazy. But I saw the amazing things I was doing there, so I had convinced myself that I was meant to be there." I paused and shook my head slightly. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about jumping on a plane and coming home every single day I was there. But I'd also be lying if I said that I would have eventually done just that. Because I honestly don't know. I wish I could tell you that I'd have come back, but… I honestly thought that I was meant to be there. I thought that being there was my dream."

"But it… wasn't?" Calliope asked in a soft, almost timid, voice. I could hear the desperation in her voice.

I shook my head. "No. I wasn't. And I hate that it took you getting hurt and almost… almost…"

"Dying," Calliope supplied.

I nodded, wiping away my tears. "Yeah, I hate that it took that for me to see what was right in front of my face, but now I realize that my dream is to be here, with you, and to spend the rest of my life with you and our family."

"Family?"

I nodded. "Of course. I told you before that I'd have kids with you. That didn't change."

I saw her swallow. "I thought you might have left me to get out of having kids," she admitted softly, blushing slightly.

I shook my head. "It was never about that," I said. "I can't say that I won't freak out when the time comes for us to have kids, but I won't go back on my word."

Calliope studied me for a moment. "I would have waited."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"For you to come back," she said. "I didn't realize that I was doing just that, but I was. You've never stopped being mine in my heart, and I've never stopped being yours. I couldn't look at anyone else in a romantic way, couldn't even imagine kissing anyone else. You're it for me, so I would have unconsciously waited."

"Your mom told me the same thing," I said, cupping her cheek.

"She did?"

I nodded. "She said that she could hear it in your voice."

"Would you have… waited?"

The question hung in the air for several seconds before I laughed. I kissed her softly. "Of course," I said against her lips. "That was my plan all along. I was going to come back after the grant was up and find you. If you'd moved on and were happy, well, I was just hoping that you'd still be single and willing to get back together. I would have understood if you'd moved on or didn't want me back though."

Calliope chuckled. "Not want you back? Are you crazy?" She thought for a moment. "Okay, I admit it may have taken me a while, but I would have taken you back. I love you too much not to have."

I grinned. "I love you, too, Calliope." We kissed again.

Calliope pulled back, a curious look in her eye. "So, when are you thinking we should start a family?" she asked tentatively.

I thought for a moment. "Not tomorrow," I said. "First, you need to be one hundred per cent healthy again because you're going to do the carrying."

She chuckled slightly at my statement. "I'd figured."

"Second, I want it to be just us for a while, you know? We need to travel and—" I stopped suddenly and my heart sped up. Now was the perfect time! I leapt off the bed and ran into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Calliope called out.

I grabbed my purse, ignoring her, and rooted around until my fingers brushed against what I was looking for. I held it behind my back as I reentered the room, grinning from ear to ear, my heart racing.

"What are you doing?" Calliope asked as I returned to sit next to her on the bed, my hand still behind my back.

"I was going to say that, before we have kids, we need to travel and," I paused, pulling the velvet covered box out from behind my back, opening it to revel the white gold ring. The 7/8 carat solitaire diamond was flanked by a row of smaller sapphires on either side. "We should be married first," I finished.

Calliope gasped, her eyes widening. She glanced from the ring to me, back to the ring, then back to me, shocked. "You… you're…?"

"Proposing," I finished. I took the ring out of the box and took her left hand. "Calliope Iphigenia Torres, will you be my wife?" I slid the ring onto her finger. Perfect fit.

Calliope immediately threaded her fingers through my hair and pulled me towards her, clamping her lips on my. She kissed me with wild abandon until we had to part for air.

"Is that a yes?" I asked, breathless.

"Yes," she breathed out. "I would love to be your wife."

_You were my strength when I was weak_

_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_

_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_

_You saw the best there was in me_

_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_

_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you loved me_

::~::Celine Dion::~::

* * *

**Author's Note**: Okay, I hope I remembered all the loose ends… let me know if I forgot any, okay? : )


End file.
